Yeah I’m back again :P I noticed a typo in the last review just as I hit submit, and I mean more not me! There’s probably quite a few other ones, but I’d rather carry on reading than proof reading! A more minor note, but that is a truly stunning chapter image.
You tease me too much, first with all the scenes with the thief and now we get another flashback. This line had some really lovely imagery ‘The snow cut into her face.’ Well, there’s a lot of beautiful imagery in all the chapters but I would probably go over the review limit if I included it all here. I just realised that you personified snow here and in one-shot, is it you favourite weather by any chance, or a mere coincidence? It was really lovely to get a glimpse at their earlier relationship, and how it still mirrors there present day one.
I like the scene when Minerva told the other prefects what had happened to Myrtle. You really caught the morbid curiosity people have when an incident, like Myrtle’s one, occurs. Another subtler thing which I really liked is the change in the way Riddle spoke to Minerva. If you compare it to the party where he wanted to dance with her and was playing her pleasantries, to now where he appears to be bitter you can really tell how much killing someone, even if it was the basilisk, has changed him.
I like this daring nature of Minerva’s even if it had to come about through unfortunate circumstance. First she plays truant and then she sneaks into the Ravenclaw common room. It reminded me of how she was during the Battle of Hogwarts where she had a rebellious spirit there too.
I’m rather worried about Grimm’s current mental state. I didn’t anticipate him to be so shaken up by Myrtle’s death and for him to flee. I suppose I can console myself with what Minerva said about him hating enclosed areas. I thought this description of Grimm was perfect ‘Wild, dramatic, intolerable.’ It captures all the key characteristics which draw so many people into him. Ooh I found another perfect one for him ‘“You are entirely nonsensical.”’ Minerva really does have a wonderful vocabulary when describing him, or I should say you do.
There were two tiny remarks in this chapter which I really loved. The first being the fact that they were too young as it reflected how Harry, Ron and Hermione felt and showed that even in the wizarding certain events repeat themselves and a few will always rise to the challenge and defeat them. Then the second was the remark about the U-Boats and bombs. Though WWII hasn’t featured much at all in this story, the brief comment about it here and there makes it all the more authentic.
The idea that Grimm had to join the muggle army reminded me of Amanda’s Yellow and how magic and muggle events do merged together at times. It sounds horrible, but I would almost prefer him to join the army then go to the school in Canada, that way he’ll be somewhat closer to Minerva, and I would prefer to read that then him being at school as it would bring him out of his comfort zone.
That was such a powerful line to end it on and it really made me reflect on how both their lives have changed throughout the course of this story. I’m going to stop reviewing for today so I still have some more of This Longing to read tomorrow :D
Author's Response: Hahaha, snow! I'm sorry - I'm not laughing at what you've said, more at what your observation reveals about me. I'm from Canada, so snow is this important cultural thing that we constantly complain about, yet also somewhat admire and rely on - it's a complicated relationship. :P But I hadn't noticed that it's leaked into the way I write about snow. The one-shot was inspired by a snowy day in January, and when I describe the snowstorm in this chapter, I draw it from experiences being out in that kind of weather. XD
Your analysis of Riddle's change is very interesting, and I'm glad that you picked up on it. It's not only that his attitude toward Minerva has cooled, but that the very act of murder has altered his being - and it literally has now that he's created the diary horcrux. Part of his soul is missing, so he can no longer experience emotion in quite the same way - no matter how widely he smiles, his eyes will always remain devoid of feeling.
Grimm is essentially a coward who hates dealing with the realities of life. He wants to be left with his studies and his theory without having to be touched by what goes on outside. But with Myrtle's death, he crumbles. I'm not sure whether it's because he just can't deal with it or because it has shown him the results of his blinkered view of the world - he only saw Riddle and Minerva, but disregarded Myrtle, who was the one he really should have been watching. But this second option might be too optimistic. Does Grimm actually learn anything, or does he merely feel guilt? That's still up in the air.
Oh, do you prefer the army to crossing the ocean? It will mean losing his freedom, having to take the chance that he'll actually get leave to visit Minerva, or that he'll have the strength to face her after all that happens (and will happen). You'll see. ;)
Thank you again for reading and reviewing this story! It's fun to respond to your reviews. ^_^