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Review:teh tarik says:
Hello Aisha :)

Finally, I've had the chance to read this story! I've been eyeing it for quite some time now, simply because I love the Cluedo board game, and a good murder mystery is always something that I'll make time for.

And goodness, this was such an utterly gripping beginning. You certainly don't shy away from the gory details of the crime scene - and you do indeed have an eye for detail. There were descriptions that really made the scene so vivid and realistic, e.g. The brogues on his feet were glossy and well cared for, not a scuff mark etched on the tan leather. Professor Peach looked normal from the neck down, if you didn't take into account his carrara cold exterior. I just love the detail about the professor's polished shoes so much - it's quiet irrelevant to the whole violent murder scene, and I love it precisely for its irrelevance. It lets slip the sort of person Professor Peach was - what kind of habits he had (and from his shoes he sounds like a very neat spruce fellow).

And then there was that squicky bit about shards of bone and lead piercing his exposed brain uggh. I don't think I can unsee that. But it really does highlight the grim brutal nature of the murder. And I'm glad you raised the point of "typical" murder in the wizarding world - a flash of green light and everything is gone. This cold-blooded beating-to-the-head murder is of a completely different nature - it's personal for someone to physically inflict so much damage to someone else, to break the body of that someone. And I'm pretty sure this must have been such a shocking thing for everyone at Hogwarts, or even the entire wizarding world. Speaking of Hogwarts, this is just the perfect setting for a murder mystery! After all, so much strange stuff goes on within the castle walls.

I love that you're using James Potter's viewpoint :) Usually in Marauder fic centred around James we only get to see him struggle with the romantic aspect of his life (ahem, Lily) - at least during his Hogwarts days, so it's just so refreshing to see him involved in such a thrilling mystery like this.

Anyway, I loved this. I think it's a wonderful start and I'll certainly be dropping by to read the other chapters! Great work :D

-teh

Author's Response: Hi teh! Ooh, there's nothing like a good mystery to sink your teeth into, especially one where the ending is surprising ;)

If you're going to do horror right, you can't shy away from the gore, but you can't make it overly so. The detail is something I've been taught since birth. Every single one of my English teachers would tell me to 'Show, not tell', to build up a picture of characters and events through episodes, rather than telling the reader what the characters and events are like.

Yep, well I hate slow beginnings, and describing a grim murder in the first chapter just throws the reader completely down at the deep end, right in the thick of the plot :P Yes! There would be no point in writing a fanfiction about an ordinary avada kedavra killing, because the whole point of fiction in my eyes is to explore the extraordinary. There had to be a vicious murder that occurred in Hogwarts, there just had to be, so I had to write about one :P

I think James' character is so much more important than the 'Guy whose only interest is capturing Lily Evans' that we usually see. Sure, it was a big part of his life, he loved her, but he was so much more than that. He became an animagus just to help out a friend; he joined the Order and openly defied Voldemort for chrissake! He's incredibly loyal and just, traits of his character that I wanted to explore more.

Thanks so much for the lovely review, I'm sorry I took forever in responding to it!


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