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Review:PitchBlue says:

This was an interesting and promising first chapter. It gave a good introduction to the main characters, while not giving away too much about their personalities - I guess that will come in later chapters.

I have a remark to make about your use of paragraphs though. I noticed that you start a new paragraph with each sentence, which is not necessary. It doesn't bother me though, I'm not a punctuation - fanatic or anything, I just thought I'd point that out since there're 'rules' concerning this kind of thing. On the HPFF forums there are a lot of topics that explain this, you might want to look into them. But as I said, it doesn't bother me.

All in all, I like this chapter and I think it's promising!


Author's Response: Hello (: First off, thank you for the wonderful review. I'm glad that you found the introduction okay! And I will definitely have to look into that! I'm just not a huge fan of long paragraphs because I find it annoying to read as a reader but I'll definitely look into it!

Thanks for reviewing!(:

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