Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:AlexFan says:
I'm back again! After that long review I didn't think that you'd actually be back again. I thought I'd scared you off, anyway, I'm not even sure that you read the review yet but whatever.

Characterization: Ally isn't as annoying as she was in the last chapter but there's still something about her that just irks me, I don't know what it is but she just annoys me.

I think what annoyed me was the fact that she expected her mom to be on board with her being pregnant and everything. My mom doesn't speak to me for days on end if I don't do one of my chores properly, does Ally really think that her parents are going to get over what she's done that quickly?

Plot: We're finally getting some action! I've finally learned the father's names and there's more interesting stuff going on. We've got the plot moving people! It's just weird how all of these guys seemed to go out of their way to be around her.

Flow: You had great flow throughout most of the chapter except for the grammatical errors (like "your" instead of "you're" for example) and some punctuation errors.

Reader interest: The chapter was relatively interest but again, you need more action and interesting stuff. I would suggest taking out the parts that aren't totally necessary to the chapter.

Again, I'd suggest getting a beta reader because it'll make life easier but that's just a suggestion, you don't have to take it.

This chapter was definitely better than the last.

Author's Response: Hey,
Sorry I didn't get around to replying sooner, I haven't been able to access a computer until now. I had seen you first review before I requested this, and thank you.

Again I think it's because Ally's sort of a here and now girl she thinks everything will be ok in a flash.

That was me trying to fit in how Ally acts and all the boys act around each other. I think it was show how Ally deals with each of them after having coitus.

Again, I'm not to good with grammar and I'm going to look for a beta soon.

Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH! You're so helpful.

-Potterfan310
Soph xx


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 379
Submit Report: