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Review:UnluckyStar57 says:
Hi! Thanks for requesting a review from me! :)

This was a really great one-shot, and you incorporated the quote really well! You've done a fantastic job in telling the story through Mrs. Crouch's eyes, especially at the beginning. It's so sad that she's still under the impression that Barty Jr. was actually a good boy, but that only adds to the general atmosphere of the story.

There is one thing that would really intensify this emotion that you're getting across in your writing: sentence structure editing. In the penultimate paragraph, the first sentence could be written as "I had known what I needed to do as soon as he had been sentenced to come here," or in some other form for clarity. I wasn't too sure what was going on when I first read it. Then the sentences after it are sometimes a bit awkward---either too short or too long to fit into the paragraph. Just tweak those a little bit, and this story will really be golden. :)

Otherwise, I really loved the part about "Death is accelerated in Azkaban" and onward. It was really chilling and quite... Gray, which is exactly the color that this kind of story is supposed to be.

Excellent work, and good luck in the challenge! :)

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review! I'm glad you liked the story overall.
I definitely need to go back and edit this so I appreciate the advice about the sentence structure, thanks again :)


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