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Review:academica says:
Hello, I'm here from Team Blue for the Review Battle!

I really like the contrast effect you created by focusing on Dominique and the Slytherins and then shifting over to Victoire and the Gryffindors. Point-of-view swapping is one of my favorite elements of writing, especially in third person narratives, and I hope you'll continue to do that because it's unique and makes this story more interesting.

I would caution you to be a little careful about Dominique. I like how she rode in on a skateboard; it made sense due to her exposure to Muggle culture and it seemed to set her up as rebellious (and played up that contrast effect I mentioned). However, when you got to the part about the wolf, I felt unsatisfied with the notion that no one had to ask about why she was allowed to bring a wolf to Hogwarts. It seemed a little symptomatic of Sueism, with her being allowed to do what she wanted; if having the wolf at Hogwarts is an integral part of the story, as I suspect, I would recommend actually detailing why it's allowed.

This is a good start :) The writing is nice and I didn't notice any glaring typos, which is refreshing. I also liked the overall flow of this chapter a lot.


Author's Response: hey, thanks so much for your review! I'm glad you like the perspective-switching thing, as I do continue that throughout the story. As for Dominique- I explain about the wolf later in the story, though i really do appreciate the heads up about sueism (though in all fairness, Ron had a rat, when told he could only bring a cat, toad, or owl, and nobody questioned him).I will go back and edit that part a bit though :)
Thanks again for your awesome review!

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