|Review:||Pheonix Potioneer says:|
Yay! This is finally up! I was expecting it to take a lot longer.
You did fine on the articles and letters; I really enjoyed them. Nice to have a "primary source".
When Rose is talking about the traits of Hufflepuff, (thanks for defending Hufflepuff, by the way) there was not a quotation mark at the end once she finished speaking.
I really like that you had it from Rose's point of view. I was actually expecting the entire story from Albus's POV. Is this going to be from Rose's POV the entire time, or just the first chapter?
When Hugo is discussing houses, Hugo says, "He says with you in Gryffindor, I'm his last hope." I'm assuming you mean with Rose in Ravenclaw?
Aha! Blackburn is a werewolf! I have to admit, I never expected that. I just thought there was dark arts in her past or something.
Now I'm wondering if Angie is a werewolf. I'm probably going to start suspecting every single character of being a werewolf now.
Multiple times you wrote, "mother'd" and "we'd". That is a bit confusing...
I wonder how Dora knew that Blackburn was a werewolf? Blackburn obviously had it a be a very guarded secret, since it took Rita an entire year to figure this out.
Suspicion right from the first chapter! That is what I like. Very good job with this!
Author's Response: Yay, the first review. Thanks so much.
To be honest, I was almost more excited to see how people would react to this than to the villain being revealed, since there were so many hints that people were interpreting different ways whereas the villain's motives were pretty obvious even if the person wasn't.
I wanted to avoid making Blackburn's secret too obvious, because I've read some stories where there's a werewolf and I've suspected it almost as soon as I encountered the character.
I was honestly expecting somebody to come up with the theory that her parents had been Death Eaters and that she blamed Harry for them being killed or imprisoned. *laughs*
I already have an edited version in the queue, which fixes the Gryffindor/Ravenclaw mistake and I THINK the missing quotation mark too, but I'd better check that. I think both of those were CAUSED by repeated editing, strangely enough. I kept rephrasing things and then maybe not replacing things I'd deleted or whatever.
The use of "we'd" and so on is because those paragraphs are referring to something that happened a few days before the events of this chapter, so it's "we had done" or "she had said" rather than "we did" or "she said".
Glad you liked the articles. They were driving me crazy. You wouldn't believe how much editing they got. Rita Skeeter is hard to channel.
As regards Hufflepuff, I thought that growing up as Ron's son and being only 9, Hugo would want to be in a house that sounded "exciting" and while Hufflepuff is awesome and my second favourite house, I didn't think it would appeal that much to his imagination. But I wanted to make it clear that those weren't my views, because Hufflepuff tends to get SO ignored in fanfiction, so I had Hermione and Rose defend it.
Yeah, this story is going to be from Rose's point of view. There are a number of reasons for that. For one thing, the next chapter is going to have some important stuff take place in her house. I was originally going to have Albus staying with her, but I thought that might come across as a bit contrived. And Hermione's work in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement is going to be relevant, so I wanted a direct link. Also, I'm not sure Albus would be too inclined to interfere in staff business. Rose is certainly going to drag him into some stuff against his will, but I thought on the whole, it'd work better from her point of view.
My idea is sort of to alternate points of view each story, but not sure how that'll work as it goes on. Year 3 will definitely be from Albus's point of view, but there are some things in Year 4 that might work better from his point of view too, so I'm not sure. I've no idea what's going to happen for the last 3 years, if I ever get to them, so who knows about them.
And I'm not going to have a story full of werewolves, but who knows? There could be one other hanging around somewhere.
I'm not sure if the story will ever fully explain how Dora figured out about Blackburn. I probably should, but I'm not sure where it'll come up. Dora might drop a few hints sometime.
There are hints in The Writing on the Wall, but since I doubt anybody's going to look through the whole story (and they are rather spread out), basically, somebody (I think one of the ghosts) mentions hearing something in Blackburn's study the morning the graffiti was done, so Dora either hear something or saw something when she was sneaking around the school that morning that made her suspicious, particularly when Blackburn didn't turn up to breakfast that morning (something Dora actually commented on) even though Dora was pretty sure she was in the school. So then she started taking notice of things like when Blackburn was absent and started to figure it out, possibly with help from her father.