Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:FredWeasleyIsMyKing says:
Hi Amanda :)

I thought it was about time I came to check out some of your stories and this one seemed like a great place to start until I read your Authors note about the one shot that proceeds this. I will go back and read it at some point though. This works well as a stand alone piece anyway - I didn't get lost or confused about any of the characters so don't worry about people not reading the other one shot first.

I really enjoyed this chapter! I'm kind of gutted there's only one as I really want to read more! Hopefully you will update soon though and I can read it as you write it.

Your characters were really great. I love the fact Neville called his kids Frank and Alice. Alice is in my head canon too but I gave him too girls instead of a boy and girl. We should compare more notes though as your extended family tree is really interesting!

Frank is so awesome as a big brother - everything he should be! If I had a big bro this is how I'd want him to be anyway. It's sad that they don't see him much but the time he does spend with his siblings is clearly special.

You've also built up some really good suspense around what Baileys secret is. Is it a boy as Alice suspects? That seems reasonable. You have my interest there anyway.

But the main plot is obviously Alice's back. We know what the diagnostic is from the chapter summary but it's really great that you haven't leapt in and told us what the problem is in chapter one. I like getting to know Alice first and I think that's going to help get the readers emotionally attached when it is revealed what the problem actually is. I know I'm already getting attached to her!

And theres obviously something going on with Al! I think these two are really cute! They're not in my head canon but I'm really excited to see where you take them! They have a lot of potential!

One small typo for you: 'His hands were freezing and since my back was pretty sensative, I was nervous for him to touch it' I think you need sensitive not sensative?

This was a really great first chapter though. It flowed well, you introduced us to the characters in such a natural way and I really really enjoyed it! I look forward to reading more soon!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hey Lauren! :)

Yeah, I think they both work pretty well as stand alone pieces. I like to tie in my characters in other stories (which I plan on doing with another story but shhh :P) but I'm glad you didn't get confused or anything :)

I'm sorry! I'm really hoping to get some time and inspiration soon to keep writing this! I feel like such a bad author for leaving it so long with only one chapter! :S

thanks! I'm glad you like their names :) Yes we should definitely compare notes! It'll be interesting to see how we both imagine Neville and his family.

Yay for big brothers! :P I don't have one either but Frank would definitely be the kind I would want to have too ;D Yeah, Bailey's kind of odd isn't she? You'll find out whats wrong with her eventually (:

Oh thanks for catching the typo! I'm not very good at catching those sometimes lol.

thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it and I'll definitely let you know when I get the 2nd chapter up(: I'm hoping it'll be soon!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 983
Submit Report: