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Review:teh tarik says:
Hi there, I came across your story while browsing the Recently Added ^.^

I like your style of writing; it's very clear and straightforward and the pacing of the story doesn't drag, but is very controlled. And I like how you've managed to incorporate a sense of mystery in the very first chapter, in terms of this new transfer student and her connection with Draco. There's not a lot to Sofia's characterisation so far, but this is a rather short first chapter, and so I'm hoping that you'll really develop her character in the next few chapters.

I'm wondering why you chose to open the story with Harry's POV, instead of Sofia's. I noticed the pairing of your story was Draco/OC, and I'm wondering if Harry will have anything to do with Sofia (perhaps a Draco/OC/Harry triangle...?). The transition from Harry's perspective to Sofia's viewpoint was a little choppy, and I think if you give a little attention to detail and the wording of the narrative in that area, this could work out a little better.

I love how this is a Hogwarts era fic, set during HBP. There are hardly enough decent Hogwarts-era fics, and I love it when writers try to fit their stories around the events of the books; there's so much potential for plot and characterisation and showing how the events of the second wizarding war affect the lives of characters apart from harry, Ron and Hermione.

Anyway, this is a great start! I hope you keep writing. It would be nice to see how Sofia fits into Hogwarts and how the Draco/OC pairing plays out :)

-teh

Author's Response: Hey,

First of all, thank you so much for reading and leaving a review. I really appreciate it ( :

Ill try to go back and incorporate more of her characteristics as you suggested, but hopefully the developments of the next few chapters will be good.

The reason why I chose to open the story with Harry's point of view, was just because he is a familiar character and I wanted to introduce Sofia thru someone else, instead of opening with her. Im sorry it was choppy :( I had some people read over it and no one pointed that out to me and I didn't notice either. I think that my writing does gets better as the story progresses but please feel free to point out anything else you see. I considered doing a triangle with Draco/ Harry/ Sofia but i changed my mind. I really want it to be about Sofia and Draco as far as that goes, but I want her interaction with the trio and other people to also be important. Like you pointed out, I'm trying to fit the story within the events of the sixth (and later on) the seventh books, and Harry is a huge part of it.

I will keep writing, I actually just began writing chapter 13, but i have to wait for the chapters to be approved before they show up for everyone else, and it takes the administrators a few days at the time, so it will take a while for me to update every chapter.

Please feel free to leave more reviews, that would be great! ( : And once again, thank you for taking the time to leave this one.



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