Okay, so now it's like I'm stalking you in review tag, but hopefully you don't mind! :P
I love this chapter! It honestly was really suspenseful, thoughtful and well-written, and you should be really proud of it! Writing action is actually quite hard, but you did it very naturally and eloquently. I know a lot of stories involve Hermione going to fetch her parents, but you did a good job at turning that into a unique and tense event, so well done!
I love how determined Ron was to go after Hermione, it was really cute. And it's a good thing he did, too! One thing I found a little confusing is how the Death Eaters knew Hermione would pick that particular dental office. Maybe it could be a really major one, or have a name starting with A so it's the first one in the directory?
I really loved the fight scene, and was very worried about Hermione for a moment there! Ron's defending of Hermione was just so heroic and reminded me why I love them together, especially when she saw that Ron was carrying the beaded bag. I really liked the twist where they realize they need to go after the Death Eaters because they know Hermione's parents' names, that was very clever. And the Death Eaters were so creepy!
I have a suggestion for the Deluminator part: I'm guessing that's how Ron knew where to find Hermione? In the book he finds Harry and Hermione because they say his name out loud for the first time in weeks. What if as she was being captured Hermione whispered Ron's name or "I love you, Ron" or something, so it would be clear how the Deluminator found her? Just a thought that I think might fit in smoothly! :)
I really liked the description of Ron and Hermione telling each other how they felt, it was really sweet and beautifully written! Also, the mention of the Weasley clock was perfect. That was always one of the #1 things about the Burrow that I really wanted to see in real life, it just sounds so awesome! Though I guess it could be pretty inconvenient for rebellious teenagers.
Also, about the Grangers arriving at the Burrow. I'm pretty sure that in the books, the Weasleys had already met them, as Mr. Weasley was interrogating them about Muggle lore? A cool way around this could be if Hermione hadn't completely managed to reverse the memory spell she placed on her parents, so they could potentially not remember the Weasleys and some details about the magical world. Like, if they remembered they had a daughter, but not any details about the wizarding world that could be tortured out of them by the DE. Or something, does that make sense? Again, just a thought I had! :D
Anyway, another wonderful chapter you have here! I'm excited to continue reading! :)
Author's Response: I don't mind at all - I'll gladly be stalked, if it means I'll get such wonderful reviews!! :)
I'm actually a bit insecure about this chapter, so it's really, really great to hear that you liked it so much! I struggle a lot with writing action, but I'm glad to hear that you think that it worked.
In my mind, the Death Eaters were expecting her to come search for her parents, but they didn't know exactly where she'd start. However, they are magical, so they simply used magic to track her down, follow her and get into the office before her.
I love Ron and Hermione's relationship! And Ron has shown to be quite heroic in the past, especially when it comes to her. I'm glad that you liked it :)
As for your suggestion about the deluminator, I will definitely use that piece of advice! Thank you so much for pointing it out, it's a brilliant idea that would make it clearer exactly how Ron found her.
I'm glad you liked their way of finally professing their feelings for each other - it was quite an important moment. The Weasley clock is really cool! I wish I had one!! But you're right, it definitely would take away some of the kids' freedom. Just imagine if there had been a 'causing trouble' on that clock - Fred and George's hands would probably never move from that position!
Yes, many of the Weasleys have already met Hermione's parents, but I figured that since it was a long time ago, and since a few more of the Weasleys are there now (Bill, Charlie, Fleur etc.) it would be appropiate for Hermione to introduce them! Your idea is great, though, so maybe I'll change it around a little bit ;)
Thank you SO MUCH, again, for being so helpful and so encouraging! This review was really lovely, and it's really helping me in improving the story. I appreciate it so, so much! :D