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Review:nott theodore says:
I wasn't expecting this update to be so quick, but the validators have been great recently and I was pleased to see that there was a new chapter to this story.

I think you're developing this story well. You don't give the reader too much information but at the same time you give us enough to keep us interested and stop us from being frustrated. The plot is quite exciting, too, which makes me want to continue reading.

At the end of the last chapter, I was left believing that Naomi was the one who was spying for the Death Eaters, so the twist that it was Emily was unexpected and very effective. I enjoy seeing Harry at the centre of all the action and being authoritative, and Kingsley's character is likeable, which I'm happy about because he that's the sort of character portrayed in the books.

I do think your writing has improved since the first chapter, but you still have a long way to go. Sometimes the typos and grammar mistakes make this quite difficult to follow, and I really would recommend looking for a beta on the forums as they can help improve your story a lot.

Although you said that the aurors are all going to be important characters, I find myself struggling to remember who they all are because there are simply so many names mentioned in each chapter. This wasn't so bad because many of the names are ones we already recognise from the books, but even if they are vital to the plot, it would help the reader if you introduce them in smaller amounts.

I was wondering if you know how long you expect this story to be?

Sian :)

Author's Response: Thanks again! I really do appreciate the feedback :)
There are STILL typos? -_- I must have re-read this chapter ten times over! Annoying!
As for the Aurors, don't worry, the one's that I said were featuring on the story are the one's that have the most page-time so I'm sure (I hope) that you'll get to know them within time. Occasionally I will name Aurors but only on an 'Harry orders them' bases. I think maybe there are two more fairly featured ones yet to be seen then that's it.

I have finished writing this story and it's just over 30 chaps long (quite a lot of chapters I know but I do give usually keep the word count reasonable) and I have just started on its sequel.

You also mentioned getting a banner earlier and, if I'm honest, I would like to take your offer of some tips (just consider me a newbie on the site haha)

Thanks again
SiriusAura92


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