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Review:ginnys twin says:
Hello!
Here for your review request!

First off, I just liked the beginning a lot. We learned a little about Merissa's personality, the setting, a sort of problem. So, the start was great.

Second, there is a part in the middle about hiring a coach and her father agreeing that doesn't need to be there. I feel it takes away from the rest of the story. So, my suggestion would be to edit out that part. Here's the paragraph I'm talking about:

"Her father reluctantly arranged for her carriage with one coachman to drive. Her mother managed to engage the services of Widow Bellum on the advice of the mysterious lady."

I also really loved the ending and felt it was a perfect way to wrap everything up. It was just a beautiful ending.

As for everything else, the plot flow was pretty good and I don't know what to say! I will also review the other chapters once I get a chance!

-Krissy

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

The latest revised chapter 1 is up where I have taken out that particular paragraph and inserted quite a bit more storyline where it shows how much she's looking forward to being considered more adult and hopefully shows how much is expected of her.


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