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Review:SilentConfession says:
Hi! I'm here for your other review!

So I like how this played out. I think you've introduced some of her feelings really well in this chapter and showed how much she's affected by this. Her biggest fear has happened and there is nothing she can do about it. No one else she can be other than this monster. I like how you made that very clear to the readers how she can't see herself any other way no matter what anyone else says about her. She knows for herself that she's a monster.

You also showed more of her characterization which was great. She seems like she'd be in any other situation a very affectionate, kind person who thinks of others as it seems like that is one of biggest things she's worried about with becoming a werewolf that she may hurt someone she loves. She also seems like she's a bit reckless and that she doesn't think too much before she speaks. The extra dimension also that she refuses help, that she pushes everyone away was interesting. It seems like they've dealt with that before as well and almost expected her to do it as well by the way the reacted to her. I'm interested to see where that goes as the plot progresses.

One thing i'd really love to see is more of an emotional attchement to this. This may seem weird to say but i think it would help with your flow and level of reader interest. It will help us understand Dominique more, especially if we seeing how she's reacting in her head to this. everything is very action-y and dramatic on the surface and to everyone's faces but what else is she experiencing? Groggyness? sadness? pain? confusion? do her limbs feel heavy? can she feel where the werewolf bit her? These are some of the things that will make people connect more to the story and to you character.

Fleur's reaction especially intrigues me because i've always seen her as a very strong no nonsense kind of woman who will be there for her child. I'm curious to know if you see her differently or if there is something that you aren't telling us about the condition.

One last comment on pace. Although i think you're fine now just be careful with how you pace this story. Her pushing everyone away is going to take time too for them to actually go away and her getting better and being able to accept herself is going to take time. It's something that is hard to balance but just be sure that everything doesn't happen all at once. :)

This is a good second chapter, you ended it well that makes readers still invested to find out what happens next. Thanks for requesting me, i hope you found this helpful. :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

I am glad you liked how it played out. I am pleased you liked the way I introduced her feelings.

It's great that you could understand more of her characterisation in this chapter as that was my aim. Yes, she's normally kind and affectionate, quite reckless and scatter brained at times, and she tends to push away people. She's the kind of person who deals with stuff alone.

Thank you for all your comments about the emotional attachment. I wanted to go back and edit this chapter so your comments were really helpful. I read your review yesterday, and have edited this chapter a little according to what you said about the whole emotional stuff. Hopefully, it's better now. Thanks!

Actually, there is something that hasn't been revealed about Dom's condition yet which made Fleur so emotional. There was a small piece of dialogue that I'd included in the next chapter hinting to it, but after many reviewers commenting on her reaction, I've included that hint in this chapter itself now (when I edited yesterday).

Well I will try to keep the pace balanced as you suggested, but from what I've already written in the further chapters, I am not sure how much I can show about the whole pushing away thing. But I am trying not to make everything happen at once, so I hope you'll be satisfied with the way things go.

I am pleased you liked this chapter overall and liked the ending. Your reviews were definitely very helpful and I'll be coming back to re-request.

Thank you!


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