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Review:SilentConfession says:
Hi, i'm sorry, again, for the long wait!

So i like the premise of this story how her biggest fear is something she will have to deal with head on in the coming chapters. It brings a lot of appeal to the story and a lot of questions to make me click the next button just to see what happens. You definitely want this for a first chapter so i think you've done really well with readers interest.

I also like Dominique so far. You can't take a lot away from this chapter as it's just the beginning but so far it seems like she will be an interesting character to follow and see her grow as well. I like some of the hints to her character, her bad decision making, her inability to see get passed her fear however she still has the strength to accept the assignment, and her kindness (not sure where that came from but i think it was the tone of the story itself made Dominique seem gentle).

There were some inconsistencies and things that just didn't make sense to me though that made me question the plot. If she was that scared of werewolves the full moon isn't something i'd imagine she'd be bound to forget. Especially not if she's with the pack. Her fear would already be heightened and she focus on the details, like when the full moon is and how safe she is. If you imagine when you get really scared imagine what are the things you think about and focus on - on all the things that could go wrong? Anyway that was one thing. I think it could have been interesting to see that it was determination and slight obsession to get a story that kept her there so long, ignoring that the full moon was coming because she just needed her story as she had this compulsion to finish. With that, it would also make more sense for her to have to have her notebook that night rather than just waiting till morning.

Also the apparition seemed a bit odd that there would be a mile apparition limit on a cottage in the middle of the woods. Why is that? It seemed like a forced plot point that I couldn't quite believe. Also why would she be running to the cottage? Was this just the mile that she needed to get there or was she running the whole distance from the point the werewolf told her the full moon was that night.

Overall though, i think this is an interesting start. You have a really lovely style here and some of your imagery was really great. It really opened up a feeling of terror and horror of the night. You are also really clear with your sentences and your description is easy to understand and to the point. This is great because it keeps the action and story flowing really well together.

great first chapter! I shall be back to review your second chapter soon too :P

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

I am glad you like the premise of the story and think I've done well with the reader's interest. Thank you.

Dominique is a complex character, and I enjoy writing her so it's good to know you like her so far. Yes, she is a bad decision maker and weird to be paralysed with fear yet have the strength to take the assignment. You could say she is kind too, yeah.

Well, Dominique is a kind of careless person, somewhat scatterbrained. She is very passionate about her job too and got very caught up in things. But well, I like your idea of saying that it was her obsession with finishing the story that kept her there so long. I'll see what I can do about it, thanks for pointing it out. I'll come back to edit this chapter and polish things around to make it more believable and convey more of why Dom acted the way she did.

As to why there was an apparition limit, it will be disclosed in the future chapters, around chapters five or six. It is not a forced plot point but is a deliberate work of someone, that's all I'll say for now, but yeah the 'reason' behind it will be revealed. I think you didn't quite get the scene of running. She ran to the cottage in the beginning to get her things, after getting the owl that the full moon was coming. When the wolves started howling, she ran outside the cottage to run out of the anti-apparition perimeter, and apparate home. She didn't think the wolf would be right outside her cottage because the forest is slightly far from it. I'll try to polish this chapter again when I get the time and try to make things more understandable and reasonable though.

I am glad you found this an interesting start despite all the flaws, thank you. I worked hard on my imagery so it's good to know it's appreciated and it worked. It is a relief to hear that the description is to the point as I feel I go overboard with it sometimes.

Thanks again for all your lovely words and helpful comments. When I do an edit (which sadly can't be any time soon what with uni keeping me busy) I'll come back to this review and take into account everything you said!


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