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Review:nott theodore says:
I saw the challenge over on the forums that you wrote this for, and I think that this is a really interesting interpretation of it. I don't think that it was too short at all - you managed to tell the story well in the words that you did use.

I thought your real strength here was your characterisation. I feel like I have a good handle on Sacharissa's character and the reasons for her creating the beautification potion. She's clearly a perfectionist in all aspects of her life, and she doesn't like failing in anything. The way you keep referring to her E in Charms really highlights her need for perfection and her perception of failure. It doesn't really surprise me that someone with such a perfectionist nature would want to beautiful as well, especially spending so much time with a friend who she believed was so much more beautiful than her.

Another element I enjoyed was the inclusion of other names that we recognise from the books, because I always feel that makes stories like this feel much more authentic and believable. I particularly enjoyed the mention of Arsenius Jigger, and the fact that although (however much she denied it) he was part of her motives for creating the potion, he became irrelevant to her once she had achieved perfection.

I did notice one small mistake in this - it should be hand in marriage instead of 'hand at marriage'.

I think you wrote this really well, and good luck in the challenge!

nott theodore :)

Author's Response: I'm really glad that you found the length of this okay and that there was good characterization! I always feel that it's the most important to be able to convey a lot in little words.

Also, I'm glad you noticed that she DID keep referring to her E because I really did want to try to portray that even though an E is really good, she wanted all O's and that says something about her personality.

Thanks so much for reviewing! I'll definitely go back and fix that error!

Thanks (:

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