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Review:Arithmancy_Wiz says:
Wow, Lia! This was really well done. I haven't read your other two Illogical stories, but that didn't detract from my enjoyment of this in the least.

There was something so tender about this whole piece. You set the tone right from the start with the soft touches and stolen glances. It was sweet without being overly saccharine. And I thought you hit a perfect balance between angst and fluff: not really one or the other, but pulling the best elements from both.

I haven't read a lot of Teddy/Rose, but your characterization of their relationship was really interesting. Some of the lines that really popped out at me were: Her eyes were wide with wonder; the little girl with pigtails who used to hide from you wasn't quite gone yet. And also: It seemed you missed the boat on learning how to be the last. It's easy to see how Rose could end up in this sort of relationship -- living out her childhood crush. But it's REALLY interesting to imagine why Teddy seems to keep finding himself in relationships with younger women. And the Not quite line after seeing the word Love on the mat? Brilliant!

You had some other lovely lines throughout. Mentioning Rose's "dry eyes" during their break-up -- those two words say so much about how she feels about their parting. And I love how that scene ended with him mentioning Scorpius. I imagine if I'd read the other one-shots first, I would have seen that coming, but for me, it was such a great twist! Speaking of... the final scene was great. No wonder Rose reacted to Teddy turning his eyes grey! Oh, and the line: You were never really that close, but there were times when you told him things that his father never could. I don't know if that was touched upon in either of the other one-shots, but I love the thought of Teddy, even casually, filling some sort of fatherly role. But then again, I've always been intrigued by the idea of how good or bad a father Draco would be to his son.

Okay, enough gushing... To balance it out, I'll offer just a small bit of CC. There are a few sentences throughout that are a bit awkwardly phrased. Part of the problem is some missing commas. Make sure that if you are using a conjunction to combine two COMPLETE sentences that you have a comma in there -- not just to make them grammatically correct, but also for needed clarity. It makes things a lot easier on the reader and helps keep the focus on your wonderful story.

I'm so glad we got paired up for the swap. This was really a great read!

Author's Response: Hey Becky! I'm so sorry I took so long to respond to this.

When I wrote the first one-shot, it felt like I channelled a life experience into two fictional characters. I haven't read much Teddy/Rose either. It isn't one of those ships I /must/ read, but I felt that writing the two of them made sense. It helped me to come to terms with a lot of things at that time too.

This one-shot is more the companion piece to In Full Circle - Rose's point of view of her relationship with Teddy and their eventual break-up. A while after, I thought that Teddy should have his side heard too, so here we are.

There's no doubt in my mind that Rose loved him. I'm sure too that she loved the idea of him and has felt this way since she was a young girl - though never understanding what it really was. Teddy grew to love her in a similar way, especially since he'd broken up with Victoire earlier. I never thought of him always with younger women until you brought it up. It's been that way throughout the fandom too. Rose, Dominique, Molly, Victoire…even Lucy sometimes.

I felt I had to have him realise it was Scorpius. He knew it for a while, and I'm sure everyone else did. It took them long enough to admit it. I felt it had to be him to realise it and speak to Scorpius himself. Rose certainly wouldn't have, and neither would Scorpius. They would gladly continue to be in denial until someone locks them in a room or something.

I wanted to create the element of family with that line. Teddy giving Scorpius advice the way an older brother should. I like reconciliation especially in fiction and with families like these. They've been through so much, they shouldn't hold on to old grudges. Draco isn't a bad father, probably just hesitant because of what happened between him and his father. But he does come to Rose's aid in part 2 of the series. He and Hermione actually agree on something :)

Ooh, thank you. I'm known to be a bit wordy. I will go try to correct those as soon as I can.

Thank you for your review :) It made me go re-read this story since you've given me so much to think about.


Lia


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