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Review:nott theodore says:
Another good chapter. I liked the contrast between the beginning of this one and the end of the last, especially seeing Harry in a family setting. There was also the contrast between seeing Harry interacting with his family and seeing him at work as an Auror, where he appears to be all business. I thought that worked quite effectively.

Another thing I think you did well here was create Draco's sense of panic and convey that to both the reader and to Harry. Whatever Selwyn and Lestrange are planning, they've clearly put a lot of effort into it and I'm interested to know how they were able to interfere with the instruments in such a way. Another thing I'm intrigued about is whether we have already met the mole in the Ministry yet.

I thought you portrayed the friendship with Ron and Harry well here. I particularly enjoyed your characterisation of Ron; although he is working as an Auror, he still has a childish side which comes out at times.

Like I said in my last review, you really need to break up your paragraphs to help your reader follow the story, and in particular who is speaking. There are also quite a lot of mistakes with grammar and spelling here - for example, the coin is a galleon, not a 'gallion'. If it's an area you struggle with I'd suggest trying to find a beta reader - I don't know if you're on the forums yet, but you can find them there.

I'd also recommend getting a banner for your story, as you find that you get a lot more reads and often reviews once you have one. You can find out how to get those over on the forums as well, and if you want any help with that feel free to ask me.

nott theodore :)

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