Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:WeasleyTwins says:
Hello! I'm here for a bit of review tag!

When I was trying to decide which of your stories to read, I was instantly compelled by this one. We all have those moments in our lives that define us and our lives, so I like the concept.

I myself have written and read quite a lot of stories using fragmentation and I thought you did it well! Not only is there a fragmentation between stories, but even within each section itself. I don't mean that the story is missing information or characterization, but highlights the things that Narcissa remembered the most. You really bring out her humanity in this piece. She doesn't really remember every aspect because you don't give us tons of descriptions - that would seem too stilted, in my opinion. That being said, I really enjoyed this story. I don't always read the Malfoys because I normally hate the way fanfiction writers characterize them as totally evil people. However, you've made them very human. We're not disconnected with their personalities like many other fanfiction stories, but given the opportunity to like them.

The only bit of criticism I have concerns your dialogue. I like the formal, old-world feel of the dialogue because it reflects their position as purebloods. However, there were a few places that deviated from this formal tone and jilted me out of the story a bit. One, in particular, is this line: "Dobby, be quick and prepare and bring me some milk for Draco." - I would suggest looking over the dialogue, especially in the last section. This is just my opinion, however.

Overall, I really enjoyed this piece. I thought it was admirable and made me actually like Narcissa!


Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing. Sorry for the delay in responding.

I am pleased you liked the concept of this, thanks.

Its great to hear that you think that the fragmentation worked well, and that Narcissa's humanity shown through with her important moments. Yeah, I thought too many descriptions would take away the feel I was trying to give to the story. I glad you enjoyed the story and liked my portrayal of the Malfoys.

Thanks for pointing out that bit about dialogue. I'll look through it again when I get the time and edit as needed.

Thank you so much for your words, and I am glad you liked Narcissa!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 541
Submit Report: