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Review:Flavia says:
Gryffie review tag is going down! :)

This is such an interesting idea for a story, I've never read anything quite like it so I'm excited to see where it goes :) The era is unique, but with a school as old as Hogwarts there must be thousands of stories like this to be told.

I this it's incredibly ambitious to write in the style of the era (if that makes sense) and you do it very well. It's clear you've taken great care with the choice of words and it gives the story the feel of a Bronte or Austen novel, yet with a slightly more modern flow to it, which makes it more accessible and readable for a modern audience.

You did a great job of setting the story giving us an understanding of who Merissa is and what her family situation is like. She seems understandably anxious about Hogwarts, but at the same time there were a few comments that indicated she's also excited about the prospect of a boarding school, and one that teaches magic too :) The fact that she was spying on her parents shows a real independent spirit so I'm excited to see how that develops (there's so much potential for a character like that at Hogwarts!). And the control she seems to have over her sisters shows leadership qualities which might serve her well too.

As far as improvements go, I only had two things. Firstly, the formatting is a little off-putting with such large spaces between the lines, so you might want to look at fixing that. The other things was, that whilst this chapter had enough to interest me in the next one, it was lacking a lot of description, both of the surroundings (except for the fact that it has at least 2 parlours and a nursery we know nothing about the house) and the characters, in particular Merissa. It would be nice to know a bit more about the heroine of the story, appearance, character, what some of these odd occurrences she and her sister caused were, etc.

Language, spelling and grammar was spot on, I can't fault you there. And the story flows very nicely. Overall, I really enjoyed the chapter and I'm definitely going to be reading on! Well done :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

The formatting should be fixed. I ran afoul of Murphy's Law while submitting the first time.

I will be working on a second revision for the chapter to include more descriptions and character appearance as well as thinking up some magical antics.


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