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Review:Lululuna says:
Hi there, I'm so glad you re-requested!! :)

Excluding the prologue, this is definitely your strongest chapter so far and I really enjoyed it. The conversation between Teddy and Dom was sweet, and no less than I would have expected from Mr. Lupin.

You did a really good job of building suspense with what Fleur, Victoire and the Healer came to speak with Dom about, and I was really eager to find out!! Also, I loved the explanation of why she couldn't have kids: well, not loved it because I felt sad for her, but loved how detailed and logical it was. Thinking about werewolves having children is a really interesting idea, and I think your reasoning here was flawless.

I was also wondering what would happen if a male werewolf became a father, but the mother was a pure human: would the child bear a risk of inheriting the gene, and if so would they turn into a wolf fetus every full moon? Hmm, anyway, tangent over. :P

I'm also really curious about what the decision is, as well as finding out more about the article Dom is considering writing! There's so much about becoming a new werewolf and werewolf culture to be discovered, and I'm very excited to read about those things in upcoming chapters. :)

One suggestion I have for you concerns Fleur's speech. She doesn't say much here but it would be cool if you included her dialect from the HP books. You could even throw some French in there, since perhaps in times of distress Fleur might revert back to her native tongue. I.e: "Ma belle, I am so sorry...but...but ze 'ealer says zat you cannot - you should not conceive anymore. Ma pauvre petite fille." It could be fun, anyway! :)

Also, I'm excited to read some more action in this story! The first chapter was so suspenseful and tense, and you write that very well, so I'm looking forward to it in later chapters. Also, it'd be great to have some more physical descriptions of the characters and the setting to really set the scene. Keep up the excellent writing!!! :)

Author's Response: Hey! I am so glad that you accepted my re-request =)

I am pleased that you think this was one of the strongest chapters, it is one of my favourites as well. It was a little tough to write the Teddy/Dom conversation as I wanted to get it 'just right' so I am glad you found it sweet and in line with Teddy's character.

Aha I love building suspense and try really hard to do so, so it's great I achieved that effect for you. I did some background research on reasons for miscarriages, and then connected a few with the whole werewolf phenomenon, and it took some time and effort on my part, so I am pleased you liked the whole logical detail of it. My reasoning was flawless? Thank you, I feel elated.

Seeing that Remus was a werewolf and he successfully fathered Teddy, I don't think it would be much of a problem. Though of course, since Tonks was a metamorphagus (sp?), Teddy inherited her gene instead of his, so one can't be sure if it applies to all, especially 'pure humans'. Wolf foetus? That is a very interesting idea, haha.

Well, you'll find out in the next chapter what the decision is, and some more things as well. I'll try my best to do justice to the whole 'werewolf culture'.

I wasn't quite sure whether to put in Fleur's accent or not. At first, I thought of putting it in, but then I decided not to because of two reasons - one I felt that perhaps over the years her accent would have faded (I have seen that happening with people in RL), and second that I felt that if I keep up her accent I'd have to be consistent with it throughout the story, and she has a lot of dialogues in future chapters, and I am not sure if I can really write her 'accent' properly. But I'll definitely take your advice into consideration if I decide to give her the accent, thank you.

Yes, there's definitely going to be more action further. I won't say it will be like the first chapter, but there will definitely be some action =) I am flattered you think I write it well, because honestly I never thought I was good at it. I'll work on the physical descriptions and settings, thank you for pointing that out.

Thanks again for all your kind words. I'd love to know your opinion on future chapters too, so I'll let you know when the next one is up =)


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