This line summed up James perfectly – ‘Between classes, Head Boy duties, revising, keeping their eye on the Slytherins, and trying to snog Lily every chance he got,’ wub. It was so just so James and it summed up his character perfectly. Then the way all the guys were taking their dates so seriously, it was just so cute. It was a good idea asking the girls what they wanted, as that way everyone was happy. I spotted a minor typo here ‘Consequently, had to tell Frank and Sirius’’ I think there should be a ‘he’ before the ‘had’.
Aw poor James getting all jealous over Alrek sitting with Lily. It was so cute to see that he was still insecure about whether Lily loved him or not, hopefully Jenna will prevent that from happening in the future. Yay for Lily bringing him up though! They’ve practically got him now, and it’s so exciting. I can sense why Lily would be wary about it though, as they haven’t got any evidence apart from him being suspiciously ill. Hopefully they realise anyway.
I really liked how you made the quidditch scene interesting with the arrival of Polly’s brother, as it created a bit of excitement compared to her worrying about Alrek being the suspect. Yay for Gryffindor winning, James wouldn’t let the house down, even if he’s mind hasn’t been on quidditch all the time recently. And you managed to make the quidditch scene fun, so yay for that, as I know how hard it is to do.
I love Belle! If she just had a monologue for the entire chapter I wouldn’t get bored. She’s just so headstrong and it’s lovely. The way she kindly tells James that he has something stuck to him is brilliant, and of course Lily’s reaction to it was also awesome. Then the way she says she’s only finished for the afternoon is great, as it seems as if she’s going to pick it up again sometime soon.
Aw how cute Peter may get a date, and Remus has one too! Aw this is so cute and adorable! Then the way Henniway wanted to speak to him, is so exciting as he might become a famous quidditch player. Ok, I know he doesn’t but I can dream :P
Ah Gideon and Fabian! I love these two and I really wasn’t expecting for them to turn up, so I can’t explain my excitement about seeing these two here! Perhaps it’s a good idea he didn’t became a famous quidditch player and that he joined the order instead, because by the sounds of it they really needed him. I really loved that scene as it was perfect, and we got some more Albus and Minerva time :D
Another awesome chapter Jami!
Author's Response: Kiana!!! I'm so excited that you think I made the game interesting! Those are SO hard for me to write. I'm dreading writing the season finale, but I think I'll have to do that one to justify not doing much of any others haha. Now I know why JKR made sure that every book didn't include Quidditch :P
Ohhh thank you for that typo I'll go in and edit asap! So right when I'm done responding to this :P
Belle ends up stealing the show more often than planned. It's such a huge compliment that you like her though because I feel like I've put so much into her... it just wants to make me hug you. I swear, if they ever make up computer that you can reach through, you're going to be spending some serious time getting hugged :P
Gideon and Fabian! I'm so happy you liked them because they'll show up pretty often in book two :)!!
Thank you so much for your amazing comments, Kiana. I always look forward to seeing what you're going to think about a chapter, and I really think you'll love this Saturdays :D!
PS. I'm probably going to have to name an OC after you someday. haha. I love saying it! Kiana. Kiana. Kiana! :P