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Review:missclaire17 says:
I find it interesting that her older sister is a Squib. I would love to be able to read more about how their relationship developed over the years and what sort of troubles they had because it's bound to come up, two sisters.

It's kinda sad to think that Lily would ditch Hugo because he's in Hufflepuff, since I feel like that just wouldn't be the type of thing that she would do, but of course, that is where the flexibility with writing next-generation characters comes in. Lily being the type to ignore her cousin and not stay "friends" though is definitely new and interesting, despite the fact that I wouldn't write Lily like that myself. No matter, describing how they became friends was nice to read because they are just so different so having Addison telling how they became friends was fun to read.

The party scene was slightly rushed, so I would advise that you could have wrote it out for longer. The lead up to James's anger at Addison was well done, but the party scene could have been a lot less rushed and written either more in detail or explained more. It sort of came up out of nowhere, so that's one critique I do have of that, if you don't mind me saying.

One last critique I do have, I think you should be careful of having this story drag out for too long because for the majority of the last two chapters, it's reiterating on how much James and Addison don't get along, and I think that's just something you should pick up.

(:

Author's Response: Actually, Bianca is Addison's younger sister. She's 19, and Addison's 22. I felt that it would be better if she were younger, as then the jealousy factor could be played out more. As for their relationship, I'll be bringing Bea into play pretty soon.

I should have clarified, Lily never completely stopped being friends with Hugo, basically, she never found enough time to be with him like she used to, and Addison somewhat exaggerated the entire situation. Nevertheless, I'm glad you enjoyed reading their friendship story.

I can completely agree with you on that point, the bit at the end was extremely abrupt and rushed, but I really wanted to complete and postthis chapter as at thattime, I had to go out somewhere and didn't want to keep this hanging. I'll edit it out, probably by the end of the week (school is so busy!).

As for your last bit of criticism, from the next chapter, I'll be introducing some new characters and we'll be getting a bit back on the entire 'someone's-out-to-kill-James' track. ;)

Thanks so much for the insightful review,
-Akansha.


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