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Review:Calypso says:
Hey there! I'm here from the Ravenclaw review battle!

I absolutely loved the way this started, with the description of Dom flashing past on the skateboard- it was great, and really caught my attention as a reader! You've gone for quite an original characterisation of Dom in this which I applaud- a Slytherin Weasley is always going to be interesting, and I can see a cause of some friction if Bill, and Fleur, and Victoire reacted badly to her Sorting! It's also great to see a Slytherin who isn't automatically evil, as I think they're a- somtimes unjustly- maligned house. Incidentally, I loved Harry's response- it seems like the sort of kind, open-minded thing he would do! :)

Your description of the platform was really good; you managed to convey the hustle and bustle of it all in just a few words. I do think that this chapter would have benefited from being a little longer- there were several things which piqued my interest which I would have liked to have seen explored a little more- her friendship with Sylvester and Sebastian, or where her parents are in this. I also have a tiny nitpick about her wolf pup... would she be allowed that at Hogwarts?

All in all, an engaging beginning! I really love Dom, and how original she seems, and you are great at conveying scenes and feelings simply and effectively! Well done :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your kind review and constructive feedback! I'll go back and edit the chapter to add more about her parents and friends. As for the wolf pup, I explain that in more detail in a later chapter (has to do with bill and greyback and Dom getting the werewolf-y gene that bill has). Her relationship with victoire is explained a bit in chapter 2 but is fairly complicated (as you can imagine- with one being head girl and the other a rebel of sorts).
I'll be sure to go back and make the changes you suggested- thank you again for the feedback!
~M


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