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Review:Lululuna says:
Another strong chapter! I'm curious about what Regulus is up to, but I loved how his cousins covered for him to Walburga. The whole family dynamic between all of them is very interesting, though my two favourites are definitely still your take on Bellatrix and your character of Ambrosia.

I was a bit confused about whether Bellatrix is married yet, however. But I loved how she's like "hey, sis, let's talk about all these dark and twisted elements of your future... and want some tea?" The little details, like the English love for having tea, really humanizes them and makes the story that much better.

My own criticism is that the scene in which the sisters discuss Ambrosia's future with Voldy is a bit like re-hashing the scene from the previous chapter, and I didn't feel like anything new was brought to that section. However, it was immediately followed by the excellent outing to the Alleys which I found very fascinating, especially the part about Thestrals. I wonder how that will figure in later chapters?

In your request you asked about the consistency of the characterization. I think this is probably your strongest point so far, although I'd love to learn more about the characters' upbringing and childhoods. I definitely like them: despite the fact that they're dark witches, their eagerness and kindness -at least to each other- is very endearing, and it's great to have this alternate perspective on the likes of Bellatrix.

So overall, I think this is a really wonderful story that you should be proud of!!! This is all I really have time to review now, but please feel free to re-request the other chapters :)

Author's Response: Hello again!

I really love thestrals, and I wanted them to figure prominently in the story as symbols and just for my own enjoyment. :) I also enjoyed writing the shop, and all of the odds and ends within it. If the Wizarding world really existed, I think the first place I'd go would be Flourish and Blotts!

Maybe I'm a little too preoccupied with bridging my scenes together? I see what you mean about the duplication of the scenes, and maybe it could be avoided in future by skipping forward in time. Thank you for pointing that out, and please do let me know if it happens again.

What I really needed, as you mentioned, was a bit of input on the development of my characters, and you have certainly given me that. As for the characters' childhoods, I've never really though much about their lives before Hogwarts... though I think that now I will! :) I've definitely planned to put in a few stories about their time at school though, so maybe I ought to do it sooner rather than later.

Thank you again for all your opinions and advice!

-Warrior


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