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Review:marauder5 says:
This was really sad! I felt so bad for Draco! You've portrayed his pain so beautifully and vividly. It actually made me cry (and I'm usually not that emotional when I read, so that's a big deal!)

One thing that could make this better is if you check the change of tense in your story just to make sure that it's correct. I'll give you an example: 'Suddenly he is nine again, playing on the swing with her. She is soaring high in the air, her blonde curls tumbling behind her back, and he is listening to her laugh.

“Come with me, Draco! Come, fly with me!” She had called out to him, throwing her head back and enjoying the rustle of the wind around her as it kissed her tender body.'

You can go back in time and keep the story in present tense, like you did. 'Suddenly, he is nine again...' etc. But if you do that, I think you should keep the entire flashback in present tense, so that it would be: '"Come fly with me!" she calls out to him...'
I hope you understand what I mean :)

Overall, I really loved this story. With some minor alterations, it will be absolutely wonderful! :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I am glad you found this sad, and sympathised with Draco, and could feel his pain as that was my aim. I am sorry this made you cry, but thrilled at the same time. Thanks!

Oh thanks for pointing out that tense-part. I was a little apprehensive while writing it, because I wasn't sure if I was doing it the right way, but your comments are really helpful and I think I'll go back and edit it =)


I definitely understood what you meant. Thank you so much, I am pleased you liked my story!


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