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Review:patronus_charm says:
Haha I said that it would probably take ages to get all of these reviews done, but Iím already on my last now!

I liked the brief descriptions you mixed in with the dialogue it was a really nice touch, and we could then relate what, Dom for example, looked like while she spoke. It also merged well with your style of writing.

I generally donít like the direct, and to the point narrative but here it really worked well. It meant that we got the basic facts about each character, and that meant we got a sense of who we were. It was a really interesting way of putting them, and I may even try it myself in the future.

It was really cool how you tied in the canon characters as well. It made it have a more Harry Potter feel to it, and you could see how it connected to everything. By doing that, it just makes next gen that much more successful, well in my opinion anyway, so it was cool to see that done.

I liked the sense of mystery you also built into the story, and I can see how itís going to develop into a cool vampire one. This isnít related to my previous point, but Iíll say it anyway. I really liked your characterisation of Rose, it meant it was a nice and funny narrative to follow. I also liked Scorpius and he seemed to have this sort of freshness about him!

The only thing I would suggest is that there were few tense slip-ups now and then, when you went into present tense and the majority of the story was in past. So you may want to review those!

Look at me all done! Itís been fun reading your stories, and I hope you liked the reviews:D

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: I'm thrilled, and rather impressed, you managed to get three reviews done in such a short space of time - and they're so detailed and long too!

The narrative isn't usually my first choice, but I thought I'd challenge myself, because I find third person much easier to write. I like to have a balance of canon, just to not overwhelm the reader with new characters.

I didn't intend it to be a mystery, but it kind of turned out to be one, so that's awesome you liked it! I find Rose quite hard to write, because she's been done so many times before. Scorpius is such a complex and cool character, because J.K.Rowling left it open so Scorpius could be this evil malicious slytherin or this kind gryffie.

I'll definitely go back and change the tenses! Oops! Thanks for pointing that out :)

Yaay!! Your reviews have been so helpful, encouraging and awesome! They're so kind and long! Thank you so much for your reviews- you're awesome! :D


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