Since, well, forever, Sirius Black has always been an especially interesting character to read, and I was utterly devastated by his death in the fifth book. The idea to explore his past, not exactly during the Marauder's era but while in Azkaban, was extremely clever, and I was hooked in just by the idea of a plot following Sirius Black to his escape and perhaps eventually to his double crossing, old 'friend' - Peter Pettigrew. This whole story gives that devestating feel of Azkaban and the bitterness of our main character, known as a traitor and murderer without cause. Framed. It's enough to drive anyone mad.
Sirius Black is a beloved character by the fandom, and it was certainly a tragic blow to our hearts when he died. This does make him a tricky character to write. With so many fans with knowledge about Sirius from the books, it can be difficult to keep him as he was written in the books, and I applaud you for your effort. Considering circumstances, I believe that Sirius was written fairly in cannon. No one'll be exactly the same after years in one of the worst Wizarding prisons with creatures that essentially suck the happiness out of you, would they? Even if they were the nifty Sirius Black with all those clever tricks up those sleeves - like, say, transforming into a dog.
I do have to crit his escape though. Thirteen years would drive a man almost insane even with Sirius Black's rays of hopes and animigus power. He did have a goal in mind, and that was what kept him hanging there. But still, wouldn't it be more likely he thought of escaping as a dog much more long ago when his mind was more clear? We know from how casual he was about the crossword puzzle in the books that he fared well enough, but that was with the dementors not quite nearby, and so how would he be like in the night? Although your description was good, i don't think you quite captured how it must have been in the dark hearing screams at night.
The bitterness like I already mentioned was really good. He'd have to be bitter. A man betrayed him and lived free. Literally a double-crossing rat. His mental character was very good and described the bitter, ex-Marauder character of our beloved Sirius. I would like to ask if you could easily slip in some more physical description of him. Just him "running a hand through the greasy, dark locks" or "peering gray eyes at the Minister" or just something like that to help give the reader more of a visual. On that note, I think the whole chapter could benefit form a little more description.
Bottom line, I loved the clarity and strenth of this story as well as the fantastic story line but think it could use some description.
I hope I helped!
- Wistful with a late review swap >.>
Author's Response: Really late response, but with this awesome new site remodel I can now see how many reviews I've missed answering.
Thank you very much for this review, I am working on revamping it, and even making it longer with more details, like exactly how he escaped and what he did right after. I might go more into the dark things but the challenge is that I don't really like it, no one loves torturing their character unless they're really bad. The thing is, he really went through it so I have to bring that out as a responsible writer.
You really did help with this review, I'm just sorry it took this long to tell you.
Thanks, and I hope you check in again!