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Review:Jchrissy says:
Hi there! I got your message and wanted to stop by!

This is a really sweet story and I think the lyrics for it fit perfectly. Song fics are definitely a challenge but you did really well on this!

I think starting with the two of them meeting in the slug club was a good idea. You might have a few people that have an issue with it because Draco wasn't in the club, but I don't think it matters and it starts for a really logical way of how they'd have gotten close.

You definitely show a softer side of Draco in this. His and Astoria's conversation in the astronomy tower was very powerful. It was a different Draco than we're used to seeing but it was still so nice to watch them be so open with one another! And the way you continued to move the time line along with the song felt very realistic.

I think Draco's worry in the battle was expressed really well. I loved seeing him so concerned for Astoria's safety and protecting the boy he questioned, and it made the wedding day years from that point even more special &heart;

The after battle scene was almost surreal. If fit really well with how you'd imagine something like that feeling and I love that Astoria was worried about interrupting. You write her in such a sweet and awesome way.

I do have a few comments that are a bit more CC, I hope you don't mind. This was a really really lovely one shot, carefully written with no grammar issues. Feel free to ignore what I say next because it's mainly just opinion stuff.

One thing that allows us to get attached to people and really believe in their bond is by seeing what they can withstand together. We understand they're in a difficult time with the war and everything, but that's sort of glossed over. Maybe showing more of it as opposed to telling would help? Like, instead of you narrating that Draco was having a hard time with his mission by Voldemort you could have him talking with Astoria about it. We could be part of the pain and frustration he feels instead of it being narrated to us. Little things like that throughout really might take this story the extra mile. The other thing that I wanted to mention was Narcissa's behavior. Her actions were incredibly sweet at the end and I do think what she went though and almost lost may be enough to force her to see her wrong doing and wanting to help. I just felt like maybe you could keep her more in character if she was offering the manor but also wanting something in return. What if she bargains for the manor in trade for her, her son, and Lucius to all be pardoned of their trial for the war? That would make us feel like she's changed enough to really be making progress but no so dramatically that it feels a bit fast.

Okay I did this review on my iPhone some hope there aren't too may typos :P

This was such a sweet story and I loved reading your take on how these two fell in love ♥

Jami

Author's Response: thank you so much for your lovely and constructive review- it truly made my day!
I did take your advice about Narcissa and edited the story a little to show that her ego, rather than her maternal instinct was what fueled her offer, and I am going to try to fill in a short draco struggling scene.
Also, I know Draco wasn't in the slug club initially, but I do like to think that during his seventh year at Hogwarts, Slughorn was trying to make nice with some of the more powerful students in order to protect himself either way.
Again, thank you so much for this incredible review!
~M


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