Hello, me again for another review on your amazing story!!! :)
I really like the descriptions of Sirius and how he is uncomfortable in the family home. The description: "Siriusí reply is muffled; his head lying on his arms, heís staring up into the fireplace through the twisting metal in front, up the chimney, stretching his neck as though hoping to see sunlight peeking down the shaft." Is great, as it both gives the reader an image of Sirius and symbolizes his desire for light/freedom in the dark house-or at least that's how I interpreted it. :P
I think Barty is a hilarious addition to the Black family drama. Funny, I'd never imagined him as a teen before, but knowing his blood history it makes sense that he'd be friends with them. Also, I think his characterization is great: he's both brilliant and clearly a little mad.
I also liked: " A cynical voice in the back of his head (which, when it shows up, he likes to call ĎRemusí)." Too perfect. My other favourite line was: "Briefly, he wonders what could have Mr I-have-peacocks-in-my-garden-didnít-you-know Malfoy looking like he was sucking a slice of lemon." What an excellent way to describe dear old Lucius, who, by the way, seems a little suspicious to me...
I also think it's so funny and suitable that they have portraits of their ancestors EVERYWHERE, and they're constantly interacting with the characters and being just generally aggressive and snobby. It's such a subtle touch, but so effective. I wonder if any portraits know something about the murder...
So far, I think you're doing an excellent job with slicing up the chapters: in each one the reader learns a little more and the plot progresses just that much farther. It's not easy to write a story like this, but you're doing a great job!
Also, I was wondering about the use of the symbol of the house of cards. I love how it is described in the summary, but I was just wondering if the cards, whether physical or metaphorical, will come more into play as the story continues? If so, I think that would be very cool! :)
Author's Response: Hey again - thanks so much for coming back and I'm so glad you're enjoying it! :)
I've honestly never really thought of it like that! Even when I wrote it, I was really thinking of the idea of him trying to look up and see if there were any birds there and just wanting to be away from all his family :P Still, it's a really lovely interpretation and so yes, yes, that is exactly what I meant :P Nah, I love it, though, and I'm so glad you like it :)
Barty is always so much fun to write - I love including him in things. He's one of those people, I think, who could do almost anything and it would be believable. I'm happy you like him - I nearly didn't write him in at the beginning.
Sirius' thoughts are so great to write! Describing Lucius from his pov is so fun, lol. Ah Lucius... yes, perhaps, perhaps... :P
Mm... can I answer that, can I answer it... yeah, I think so. No, they don't. At least, nothing significant, as such. I really hope I haven't given too much away. But yeah, the portraits amuse me - I want to include them more, so hopefully they'll show up again! :)
Thank you so so much! It's a lot harder than I thought it would be - I expected it to be difficult, but I'm having to do a lot more planning than I usually do, which is... interesting, to say the least :P So thank you!
I've been debating slipping something in about that, though whether a small or big thing I'm not quite sure yet. I'm still figuring a bunch of details out at the moment, so we'll see ;)
Thank you so much for this review - it was such a great thing to receive and read and it's really inspired me to go and write some more! :)