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Review:caoty says:
Hey there, I'm from the Gryffindor Review the Person Above You thread. :)
I chose this one because I'm a fan of both AUs and one-shots, and this had no reviews; I hope that's okay.

This one-shot has to be one of the more interesting ones I've read recently. The ambiguity of your plot and your spot-on characterisation, particularly of Ron and Hermione, combined with the simplicity of your language make this refreshingly different from a lot of fic on HPFF.

You've also got a few excellent turns of phrase, such as:
his grip on the wizarding and Muggle worlds were beginning to strangle it.
You really know how to pick your metaphors, and it shows.

I've got a couple of criticisms for you, too:

First of all, your sentence structure and punctuation can often get a little too simplistic - because while that works for the majority of the one-shot, it gets somewhat monotonous because you like to use a lot of full stops in places where more varied punctuation and complex sentences could be used instead. This is probably just a taste issue on my part, but IMO you could stand to change it up a little.

A couple of minor things before I shut up:
"I TOLD YOUR 16 YEAR OLD SELF THAT WAS NOT TRUE," The first voice cried out.

Voldemort paled.

First up, your grammar's wrong - the dialogue should read:
"I TOLD YOUR 16 YEAR OLD SELF THAT WAS NOT TRUE," the first voice cried out.
'The first voice cried out.' does not make sense as a standalone sentence.

Secondly, I'm not entirely sure Voldemort would have enough knowledge of Harry and diary!Tom's interactions in CoS to be sufficiently intimidated by this.

Also, wouldn't Ginny be a bit more wary of following friendly yet mysterious things, particularly boys, after CoS?

Anyway, feel free to disregard my criticism if you don't agree with this. It was a pleasure reading this story, and I wish I could have written a more helpful review.

Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

And thank you for the corrections in grammar. I will work on correcting the mistakes and update it. I am always looking for ways to make my writing better.

My thinking for Voldemort reacting to the voice's assertion is that Voldemort would remember when he made the diary his Horcrux and his views have not changed since he made the Horcrux. The realization that an unknown person interacted with his 16 year old self would mean that person found his Horcrux and possibly destroyed it.

Yes, Ginny has shown to be more cautious of following mysterious things. But in this instance, after having grieved for a long time, when Harry appeared and called her, she took a chance. Ron and Hermione both recognized the voice, but couldn't see who it was. And because they believed Harry to be dead, didn't think that it could have been Harry.


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