Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:caoty says:
Hello. *waves* Tagged you in the Gryffindor common room.

I like your James, but then I'm sure you knew I would; first person and BTF!James are two things which I like and as such it was pretty much inevitable, really. Even despite that, though, you've done very well with James' voice - he's likeably immature as well as being self-aware and reflective. And also fairly well-adjusted, despite having just been betrayed and murdered and faced with having to wait God knows how long in a room where there is literally nothing except his wife. (Me being picky, I'm not entirely sold on that last bit, by the way, but I'll get to that later.)

Having James suffer from temporary amnesia was a very good narrative choice, meaning you didn't have to write a super-emotionally-charged adrenaline-overdosed traumatised character right away because that'd be way difficult, both for you and for your readers. You've also used it to establish James' character - very clever. You're really good at this whole structure thing, is what I'm trying to say.

Lily's character is one I'm not too sure about in this fic, actually - I get that she's a bit preoccupied, but emotional!preoccupied!Lily seems much more the kind of person who is going to have some sort of ALL CAPS angry/dramatic moment than be all calm and spaced out and stuff. I don't know. I think it's just a matter of taste, really, because your Lily serves as a counterpart to your James fairly well. And also because it's been ages since I read a L/J fic.

So, anyway, apart from that - which you can disregard because I'm really sleepy - and an odd instance I saw near the beginning of the word 'blasted' as an adjective, which is a bit anachronistic, despite how posh James probably is, I loved this. Of course I did. I'm predictable like that.

Author's Response: Hello, mon ami!

I'm really glad that you like James's voice. I really tried hard to balance him out and not veer too far in either direction -- "mature James" or "childish prankster James" -- when I was writing it. You know me, I loathe one-dimensional characters.

I was having a similar thought when I started this. The mind deals with traumatic events in pretty amazing ways, and "easing" James into the realization of what had happened seemed like the kindest way for his mind to treat him. I also wanted the story to build for the reader, in a "is he or isn't he?" sort of way.

I didn't think of Lily as being preoccupied so much as she's worn down by the time that she encounters James. James's death, while violent and needless, was fairly quick. Voldemort simply disposed of him and moved on. Lily's death was longer in coming. She had to listen to James die from the top of the stairs, then Voldemort offered her the chance to live. The way I'd imagined things, she also goes through her own process of figuring out what's happened and suffering through the realization before she and James "find" one another in the waiting room. So by the time she and James are talking, the poor dear has already shed most of the tears she's able to shed and she's running on fumes emotionally.

I'm really glad that you liked it. You tend to pick up on things that not a lot of other readers notice or comment on. I like that. Keeps me on my toes. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 779
Submit Report: