Here with review number two!
I love your take on Lily. She still sounds very innocent, and you sprinkle a lot about her in a few lines: her favourite colour, childhood memories, the way she cares for others and can I say I loved the inclusion of Remus here?
Psh, those haughty Black family members (this sounds like a horrifyingly racist comment, I cringe just typing it).
Oh, Peter. He's seems quite sweet so far, kissing his mother goodbye and being worried around Lily (for some reason this completely sticks to my perception of him). I like Lily's reaction to him too!
Okay. The inclusion of James sort of breaks my heart, because I've become a big fan of James/Lily with Jami's Before They Fall and I don't want to see them apart. However, because this is you and I know I love your writing, I won't say anything until I meet your Severus.
Phew, awkwardness avoided. I'm actually really curious as to how Snape and Lily will work out if James is standing there being adorable. ANYWAY. If I start rambling on this subject again, you have the right to kick me. The friends you've given Lily sound really interesting, I'm curious to find out more about them!
There is one tiny thing that has been nagging at my brain here. Wouldn't Lily have to go to Prefect's Compartment? Nothing big, but I was just wondering if she was a Prefect in this story or not.
AND HELLO AWKWARDNESS AGAIN! Gut instinct tells me I like your Severus, despite him not having had a bath for several days. Poor boy, I do feel sorry for him, although Lily's attitude is entirely justified and I am glad that she's reacting this way.
This was another lovely chapter, I think I'll transit right now onto chapter three &hearts
Author's Response: Hi Val!
Lily is one of my favorites, partly because I feel like she's one of only a few characters who is really, honestly pure and innocent at heart. Most everyone has a dark side, but I can't find hers. So part of this story was me trying to deepen my characterization of her a bit. You'll see some not-so-nice things come out, even with an overall aura of innocence.
I won't dare compare my James/Lily to Jami's, but let me say that I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. You'll see dashes of Snape/Lily and James/Lily here. I tried my best to play fair, in terms of humanizing James more and demonizing Severus more than usual. Then, just when you think you have them figured out, I'll change it up :) Anyway, stay tuned--the dynamic between James and Severus has been the most interesting and easily the toughest part of this for me, and I hope you find it satisfying.
I suppose Lily would have to at least visit the Prefect's Compartment to be briefed on things. Then again, this would be her second year being a Prefect, so maybe her briefing would be very short. Either way, I didn't include it, so I'll have to glance back to see if it needs to be mentioned or clarified at all. Thanks for that--had not thought about it.
Severus has gotten about the most work of anybody here, as I mentioned. I've tried to make him equal parts despicable and pitiable, depending on the moment you catch him in. Keep me updated on how you feel about him.
Anyway, enough babbling about characterization. Thanks for the review :)