Here for the Ravenclaw review battle! This story took me by surprise -- I'm normally not one for next gen, but I saw that this was your latest one-shot and a Mumford & Sons-inspired one besides, and felt obligated to give it a go. And I really, really ended up enjoying this!
I think I've read a sort of tangled Dominique/Teddy/Victoire before, but by and large I was most impressed with yours. I really like your characters and how you wrote them, even though we read about them for less than 2,000 words. They have distinct personalities crafted for them in such a short time, and that is not an easy thing to do, so more kudos to you for that! Dominique especially feels so real, and she's like a real woman, not a caricature or an idea of one.
There are so many emotions woven throughout this -- anger, desire, heartbreak, defiance -- and angst, of course, always angst. ♥ Which is my favorite, to tell you the truth, and you pulled it off very well! I'm sort of attracted to Teddy, no lie, and even though we know he's flighty and unpromising, I think we're meant to be attracted to him, too, because the first person POV means that we are essentially Dominique for a suspended amount of time.
And the ending! I actually LOVE the way you wrote the ending, because it left me hanging -- I don't know whether she's going to let Teddy in, or make him wait, and it sort of kills me, but it makes me think either option is plausible. A pick-your-own-ending, if you will. Oh, not enough people write those. ♥
Your language was really beautiful, too, and there was a cynicism to its beauty that complimented Dominique wonderfully. The metaphor of the arithmetic of Teddy was fantastic! And describing Teddy through the glass as impressionist. ♥ I am seriously so impressed right now. I feel a bit like I'm rambling, but I was very taken with this one-shot. And you should be very proud of it!
If this doesn't at least place in Kiana's challenge, I'll be very surprised for sure. You wrote this very well, and I'm so glad I took the time to read it. Seriously, brilliantly done!
Author's Response: Hello! Wow thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a lovely review! Mumford and Sons are brilliant- I really love them, so I felt I had to do them justice :P
I've wanted to have a go at a Teddy/Dominique/Victoire for a while- I had quite vivid ideas of them in my head, so it's wonderful to hear that that came across. I'm especially glad that Dominique feels like a real person, as that's exactly what I was hoping for :) She has become someone who defines herself by another person, but I wanted to show that she is really more than that.
Hehe I rather like Teddy too :P I think, in a way, he's been damaged as much as Dominique by the relationship- it isn't doing any good for either of them.
It makes me so happy to read your comments about the ending :) I was praying that people would like it!
Thank you so much for all your wonderful words on the language and suchlike. I swear this review is better written than the story :P It's honestly so good to know that you enjoyed it so much. I get a lovely warm feeling inside every time I look at this review... that sounds weird but I'll go with it!
Thank you so much again!