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Review:Calypso says:
Hello! I'm here from the Ravenclaw Review Battle :)

What an intriguing beginning! I loved the way you didn't explain everything straight off at the start of the chapter. It kept me guessing as to what decision Rose had taken, and definitely made me want to read on!

Rose is a great narrator. It can't have been easy to combine her chatty, slightly humourous voice with the gravity of her situation, but it worked really well. As a character, I like her already!

Your grammar was pretty good- there were a couple of slips I noticed: where you spelled Lily's name as Lilly, just the once, and put practically where I think you might have meant practical. In the last paragraph there were a few inconsistencies with tense as well, but overall it wasn't a problem.

I was slightly sceptical about the flashbacks, but they actually worked really well! The second one I thought was particularly well written (I love best friends fall in love stories :P) and the conversation between Rose and Scorpius seemed very realistic- just how two people might talk in that situation. I liked how it wasn't all polished and perfect for them, but so romantic nonetheless.

I thought this was a great start to a story! You've done an excellent job of engaging the reader, and if you hadn't mentioned that next gen was out of your comfort zone, I wouldn't have guessed! :)

Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked the beginning, as I always love using suspense so yay for that! I can't believe how great it is to hear that you think Rose is a great narrartor, I think that's always the think I'm paranoid about the most, so I'm so glad to hear that you liked her!

I know there's some grammar issues with this story, as I was trying to get it finished for a challenge, so thank you for giving me the reminder to go back and edit it, I'll do it just after I finish this response.

I was sceptical about the flashbacks too, as I'm not always a huge fan of them, but the response to them here have been pretty positive so that's great! I'm glad that you didn't think it was perfect, as they're not perfect in my opinion and I wanted to reflect that here.

I'm glad that my lack of experience of next gen didn't show, and thank you for this great review,

-Kiana :D


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