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Review:HuffleyPuff says:
Here for the third review!

"I reach the entrance to the Manor and look up to observe the beautiful architecture.The fresh winds swiftly moved the trees. The sound was relaxing. The long grounds looked calm and quite. The grass was leveled; there were diversified types of flower buds on the sides on the passage away, in which there were mostly white roses which were my favorite along with daisies, red roses, daffodils and dog flowers. I could see them but more like smell them. The aroma also added to the feel of tranquility that I felt. I could hear the water splashing in the white stoned fountain in front of the porch. There were lights for the nights which were put all through the passage till the main door. The grounds were also fairly well lit. At dawn and dusk it made the whole manor look more beautiful than it already was. Who would have thought that this place I call my home actually catered to the Dark Lord? At this moment, the grand pillars and curves of the walls give the impression of beauty, but if you knew all that happened inside these walls, this place would never appeal to you again. I've heard whispers of people being tortured here. Many have screamed and begged for their lives, taking their last breaths against our tile floor. That just goes to show that physical characteristics don't necessarily matter. The past should be observed too. This manor has demons of its own just like Nicolas will."

Wow, that was really best bit of the whole chapter, that is some beautiful writing a professional would be proud of. You can really visualize the manor in this paragraph and the words you used to describe everything was beyond brilliant. That was truly a really amazing piece of writing and you should be very proud of that. All you now need to do is to convey that skill into all of your other paragraphs and then this would be a really great story and one you should really start to finish quickly!

One thing I do have to say is that things are going a little boring. Less than a day has passed in three chapters and so far it just feels that the story is not really going anywhere quickly. If you are not careful this story would end up being 100 chapters long by the end of it because you take so much time to get to things. This can be saved by perhaps hurrying the plot along or indeed cut down on the description a bit. Other than that this was a fine chapter and so far your best.

HuffleyPuff x

Author's Response: i get how i have dragged it
maybe because i judt want everything to be written but surely the next chapters wont be like that
thankyou


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