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Review:ChaosWednesday says:
Hey there, it's Whiskey from the forums!

When I put Rasputin on the list for the challenge I never expected anything like this, so put me down as pleasantly surprised! Snape happens to be one of my favourite characters and I find that your analysis of his psyche (despite your dislike of the character) was thoughtful and nuanced!

I know that the problem with challenges is that there is a deadline, and so I won't criticize you for the fact that you must have written the story in such a short time. But it does feel like you could flesh it out a bit more, so maybe when you feel up for the task, you might find some of my advice useful.

First, I couldn't help but notice that you do a lot of telling rather than showing. Especially in such a character-focused story, we must delve into the inner world of Snape. Rasputin as an idea does indeed create such a gateway, but some more imagery and reflection could help understand the connection better.

I like that you don't go into the actual story of Rasputin and use him more as an idea that is in Snape's head. It's quite original and makes sense considering that Snape's intepretation of the historical figure is what matters, and not the facts from the history books. Defining Rasputin as a misunderstood double agent was great and showed clear parallels to Snape's story. If I may, I would like to suggest that another defining feature of Snape's story, namely his love for Lily, can be translated into the figure of Rasputin as well. He was rumourd to be in love with the Tsarina (whether the love was romantic or not no one can say, but it was definitely a doomed and turbulent relationship to an unattainable woman - does sound familiar, doesn't it ;)?)

Basically, you have a great idea here and it could be really interesting if you take the time to explore Snape's motivations a bit more and to link the two characters more clearly. Also, a bit more showing instead of telling could really make the story come to life.

great story and thank you for entering the challenge!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for that CC.
You really did point out so many things that looking back, I feel like I can definitely incorporate into a revision/edit of this one-shot.

I'm glad that my dislike for Snape's overall character didn't damage the way that I wrote him! That was one thing I was a bit worried about.

Thanks so much for your advice, and it was a pleasure to write for this challenge (:

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