Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:UnluckyStar57 says:
Things are getting pretty intense... Teddy's got his work cut out for him, that's for sure!

The whole scene was very smooth and seemed to flow pretty seamlessly. I think the story is going along really well, and I love the way you write dialogue. I only wish I had your skill! :)

Bill's anger is very believable and understandable, as he loves his daughters and would never want anything to happen to them. Teddy thinks that Ben is a nice guy, but which comes first--family or duty?

Because of Bill, duty has won out, but I'm sure that there will be plenty of trouble when Ben is taken to the Ministry. I'm actually really worried that he'll kill Dom before Teddy gets there... After all, the prediction didn't say WHEN the murder would happen, did it? D:

The only real complaint I have is Harry's retirement. I know that you told me that he just decided to retire, but my brain just isn't satisfied with that! I want the story! I really feel like he might have retired because of some sort of scandal or problem in the Auror Department, but he's such a hero that I couldn't see him retiring unless it was something REALLY huge. You've got a brilliant story here, but I think that you could enhance even a little bit more by somehow weaving in Harry's reason for retiring. It seems like it would make a good facet of the plot.

But that's just my opinion. :)

Excellent work on this chapter! I can't wait to read the next one!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for this review! I really appreciate the fact that you take time to do this, it's very helpful and encouraging, so thank you (I could say it a thousand times, but I think you get the point!) ;)

I'm glad to hear that the chapter flowed nicely, and that you found the dialogue believable. I'm very flattered!!

Yes, Bill had to have a strong reaction. And yes, Teddy is sort of put in the middle here, because Ben is a good friend of his and he really doesn't believe that he'll do it, but he also loves Dom and wants to do this for Bill (and maybe for Victoire as well). No easy decisions here...

Thank you for your opinion on Harry's retirement. I've considered it and I think you're right, I do have to add a background story to that. I have an idea of what might have happened, but I'll need to work on it a bit more to make it fit into this story. I agree that it would give the story a bit of a lift if the reader understands how these changes at the Auror Department could have started.

I'm so exited to hear what you like the story, thank you again for reviewing!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 517
Submit Report: