Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:academica says:
Hi Susan! Back for another review for our swap!

I love the classic trope of our fierce leading lady wanting nothing more than to wipe the smirking face of the leading male from her mind and being utterly unable to do so, no matter what she tries. Helen seems to become somewhat disheveled in his presence--and I love how she keeps making faces at every other thing he says :) I can't wait to see the moment when one of them really begins to soften in front of the other, and we see all this chemistry set ablaze with that one special spark.

Helen takes a bath when she needs to sit, think, and relax! My kind of girl. I like the sort of detached style and imagery in that section, like you're trying to get the reader to relax along with Helen (who only finds it so possible, as it were). Like this--"the book went limp in her hands"--very simple, and yet effective in conveying the seriousness of the facts in the next few lines.

The growing tension between Helen and Cadogan is intriguing. She's been warned off of him thoroughly, and yet she continues to tempt fate and pretend to have her act together around him. She's definitely a tough girl, but I have to wonder how long she can keep all of this up, what with all the strange things happening in Egypt right now. It'll be interesting to see how she continues to handle twists and turns as the story progresses--and, of course, to see what those twists and turns are.

Another nice chapter. No critiques to point out yet, and I'm looking forward to continuing on later.

-Amanda

Author's Response: Haha, that is such a classic trope! I can't resist things like that, even though I know I probably should. XD One thing I can't decide is whether she finds him merely annoying or she just enjoys having someone to fight with - the latter is very tempting to expand on because, by this point, she's dissatisfied and unchallenged. I'm really glad to hear that they have chemistry! Although I want to hold off on the romance, I do want there to be a strong connection between them, a bond of trust.

Ooh, thank you for that compliment! I hadn't noticed that about the bath scene, and it's very interesting to see it. It's definitely something to remember to also include in future chapters!

Writing Cadogan is proving difficult because I can't get a firm grasp of his personality. I know his vitals, but little more than that, and I try to convey this through Helen's narration. Her curiosity is piqued by his enigmatic nature, but like you said, she tempts fate by remaining close to him. It's not just that Moody has warned her away, but that things have only begun to change since Cadogan arrived. Perhaps some of Helen's naivety is showing through that she wants to trust him and enjoy his company - he is of her social sphere, and she can't help remembering its comforts and benefits.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I look forward to seeing what you think about the rest of the story. :D


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 581
Submit Report: