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Review:Jchrissy says:
Oh Rose is having a really rough day, isn't she?? I can absolutely sympathize with her distaste for being woken early on Saturday mornings. I hate getting up early, but especially when it's a weekend.

I really wanted to make her tell her family what's going on in this chapter. I mean, I knew she wouldn't because it's too soon for you to let that happen (naughty author!) but still, they could help! Between them and their parents' brain power, something could be figured out!

I think that the Weasley/Potter Clan Meeting was very amusing! I love all their contrasting personalities, it was so funny! Molly was the best and her 'impending doom' kind of attitude :P

And Scorpius! What are you thinking showing up! Poor Rose must have really been caught off guard to simply be able to nod her head... she's usually so ready with her snappy remarks. And now!! Can this clan perhaps tie into what's happened to Rose?? Ohh I do love a good mystery!

Last review I mentioned grammatical things with your dialogue, so I won't mention it again, but do you mind if I make a suggestion? You have a really great and amusing start here, and it's very easy to slip into. One thing I feel like I'm craving though is more understanding of who these people are. Just small bits of description can really help with this. You do it well with Rose, like when you describe her annoyance at being woken up on Saturday. It's a small thing but it helps create a more realistic person. This is harder to do with first person and have it pertain to other characters obviously, but just things like, -- I could tell Roxy didn't believe me, her always knowing eyes searching mind a second too long before placing the biscuits down, but she at least pretended to. -- I've expanded on what you basically said to give Roxy just a bit more to her. Adding these throughout the entire chapter is just small suggestion make your characters feel as realistic as possible :). Feel free to ignore me, though! This chapter was still lovely the way it is, and I'm excited to see where you take us next!

♥Jami

Author's Response: It was so lovely to receive another long, sweet review from you! Thank you so much!

I'm glad you found it amusing - I love creating different personalities for different people - and I always think of Moly Weasley as a seriously cute hufflepuff! :)

Oops sorry - I will go back through spell check again!! I do think I need to add more description - you don't mind if I use your example, do you? It's brilliant advice, thank you Jami! I will definitely go back and edit/add some bits!

Thank you for reviewing - you're totally awesome and your reviews are legendary :D


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