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Review:adluvshp says:
Hello! Here for your requested review from the forums.

Ah, this certainly seems very interesting. Prologues can be very tricky to write, but if done well, they bear good results, and in your case, I am pleased to say, you've handled it quite nicely.

I liked how you have kept an air of mystery surrounding the narrative throughout. It is enough to make one curious, and yet not so little also that a person would be wondering about what's going on. I also think that giving the location and year at the beginning was a nice touch. It definitely helps the reader ease into the story.

As for characterisation, since this is just the prologue I can't comment on it just yet. So far though, I like Astoria's character - as to how she appears strong among the death eaters, and yet inside she's fearful. I also like the way she reminisces briefly about the death eaters who were present with her while growing up. I can't judge her personality just yet, but she definitely seems to be an interesting and positive character, and I am eager to see how you develop her further as her character has a lot of potential for exploration. As for the boy, his descriptions are quite vague which is perfectly acceptable for a prologue. I like how you've given small details about him like his eye colour or hair colour, or the way he looks at Astoria - those little details add a fine touch. Again, he seems very interesting and it'd be great to see his life events unfold in the further chapters.

I'd say that the level of interest is very high indeed. You've established the setting and given a glimpse into your plot in this prologue very well, and it certainly has my interest piqued. Your beginning and ending of the chapter - which I consider the strongest points - are very nicely done as well, so the story definitely has me intrigued. Good job!

As I mentioned previously, I love the entire suspense theme and the air of mystery and it has me very curious as to how things are going to turn out further.

This was a great introductory chapter/prologue, and I don't have any CC for you. Keep writing, and feel free to re-request for the next chapter!


Author's Response: Hi there!! Thank you for getting around to my story so quickly! It's good to hear that you enjoyed the story and that is wasn't too confusing despite being very vague.

I'm happy to hear that Astoria's character comes across well so far. She has been a very enjoyable character to use as a narrator thus far, and I have been trying very hard to make her as round and believable a character as possible.

Good to hear that you are interested in the story and what happens next! I must say the story changes very quickly in the following chapters: while the prologue is about a certain moment the other chapters are a lot more detailed and focused on dialogue and relationships between characters. On that note, I'd love to re-request and see what you think of the other chapters, and if they fit well and keep the reader interested after the prologue. :)

In fact, I'll go and re-request right away!!! Thank you so much for the kind and thoughtful review! :)

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