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Review:AC_rules says:
Oh hi there ValWitch! :)

Firstly, I have to say that even from the beginning of this chapter your writing is very very very pretty. I can't tell you why 'It is not safe, anymore, to aimlessly wander the streets' sounds so pretty in my head, but it really really does.

Oh SNAP I was not expecting that for the ending of the first part of the section. I think the fact that you went into her clothes a little bit (which normally I don't like) and she seems quite prim and proper and BOOM she gets her wand out.

Yup. Liking this so far.

Arrggh. Okay, I really like the juxtaposition of all these descriptions of pretty ladies with all this action .

Oh, Johanna. You are... well. Well played dear, well played.

"They looked like barely hatched ducklings, floating in the blue overalls that were too large for them."

^ do excuse my whilst I droool over this lovely description. Ack.

Okay, one small thing... I kind of feel the like the 'French Ministry of Magic' jars your flow slightly. I mean, I'm already really aware that we are in france and I imagined the French wouldn't call it the French Ministry... so maybe, just change that to the french for Ministry? Or something similar like that. I'm sure everyone would know where you meant (particularly as the description about the Minster comes just after it).

Okay, so I've now come to the end and I REALLY LIKE THIS STORY I DO. This is lovely. I thought the way you introduced all the characters was really smooth (especially with them all at the end) and, normally, I would have thought introducing so many characters in the first chapter would have been... well, too much, but actually I thought it worked really well.

And that ending. Ooh, what an ending.

I reallly really want to know more about this magical involvement in the war (fascinating idea, too) and this is so original and lush and yep. You have gained a fan of this story here. This is wonderful :)

-AC

Author's Response: Oh hi Helen!

Yes, there is more to Camille and Johanna than it seems, isn't there?

I AM VERY VERY HAPPY YOU LIKE MY WRITING. Your compliments made my day, and yes I've edited the bit about the French Ministry as you suggested, and I AM BEAMING AT THIS REVIEW LIKE A MADWOMAN so I shall be quiet now.

Thank youuu :)


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