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Review:Elphaba and Boyfriends says:
Hi, Elphaba here!

Well, this chapter is definitely a departure from the previous ones, but as I read I found myself just as curious as ever to see where the story will lead. Don't despair, even if you are not feeling so confident about the direction it's going at the moment. :)

I can definitely see how this will fit better within the overall story if it is swapped with Chapter 2. I took a quick glance back at that chapter, and think that maybe the very first section could be added to this one. Perhaps you could even write a section to bridge the gap between these two chapters; the very last section of chapter 2 (where Fred recalls his death) might be a good place to start.

I continue to love the vividness of your writing; for instance, the fog "sponging up the wet grass and the water until it was so heavy that I felt it sliding against my skin, a clammy touch," and the "clay city, buildings like squat cakes."

I wondered as I read where Fred could be. Is this a dream? He asks that question himself, though, which makes me think that, no, it couldn't be. Maybe he's in purgatory, or in some in-between state -- somewhere between being a ghost and heading to the afterlife. That leads me to the question: How will he find his way out of here?

The last bit of dialog ("Where is there to go?" "I can't answer what you don't know.") makes me think that he may just need to remember who he is and what has happened to him in order to move on.

I like this open-endedness (asking questions like this is half the fun), and am content to move along in whatever direction the story takes me next.

Author's Response: Elphaba, thank you for this absolutely lovely review! And for responding so quickly to my request :D I really needed feedback for this chapter because of the strange turn this story has taken, and your review made me feel ten million times better :)

I'm glad you understand my reasons for restructuring and reorganising the chapters! And thanks for your valuable suggestions; your reviews are some of the most helpful I've received so far.

Also, thanks for that lovely comment on the vividness of the writing!

There are certainly a lot of questions in this chapter, and quite a few will remain unresolved I'm afraid :P But what I'm trying to explore here is that idea of Limbo; in DH I think the place Harry went after he "died" was called Limbo, though he saw it as King's Cross Station. I was a bit inspired by what Dumbledore said about "Of course it's all in your head but that doesn't mean it's not real" or something like that :P So this chapter explores that, what is real and what isn't and what is made up and whether all of the above are mutually exclusive or not.

I'm so glad you didn't find the open-endedness a letdown! Some readers really like things to tie up.

Thank you so much for your absolutely wonderful review, Elphaba! I can't tell you how grateful I am for your input :DDD

-teh

PS: I've got quite a few chapters of Wicked Blood to catch up on, I see :P


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