Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Arithmancy_Wiz says:
Tag! Oooh, a werewolf story! How could I resist?

You've done a really great job of diving straight into the action here. Throwing Dominique into the heart of this dangerous situation really captures the reader's attention and has us caring for her right from the start. It's definitely a great way to kick off a chaptered fic.

I really liked the way you set the scene first before dipping into the backstory of why Dominique was out in the middle of forest during a storm. It makes you feel like you're right there with her in the cottage. The wind, the rain, the worn furniture, the howling of the wolves. It's all very ominous and adds to the sense of danger. It's nice to get some information on why she is there, but too much might have broken the tension of the scene.

It's an interesting twist that these werewolves are seen as mostly docile. And the mention of Hermione's work with werewolf legislation... It seems like perhaps attitudes towards werewolves have changed in the years since the war. I'm interested in how that might play out in future chapters and if this attack on Dominique will have any impact on the way people view werewolves these days.

You might want to be on the lookout for some awkward phrasing. For example: When she had first realized that her three-day-stay would be evolved into a week, she hadn't minded. "Would be evolved" is a bit off. "Was evolving" or "had evolved" are a bit more traditional phrasing. Same with "...they also told her point blank that they couldn't hold any responsibility for their actions when they turned." The more common phrasing would be "they couldn't be held responsible for..."

Other than that, this was a really exciting start to your story. I'm glad I caught you in the review tag thread :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing, I am sorry for the late response!

I am pleased you liked the 'action', and that you think it was a good way to start the fic.

Its a relief that you liked how I set the scene first before going into the backstory. I was worried it might be too much info, but I guess it's okay.

Well, in the further chapters it will be revealed as to why this 'docile' werewolf attacked her ;) Changed laws don't necessarily mean changed views though, but well, we'll see how it all plays out as the story progresses.

Thanks a lot for pointing out those awkward phrases. English is not my first language (though I am quite well-versed with it) so I tend to make some mistakes time and again. I'll definitely take your comments in consideration and edit =)

Thank you for all your thoughtful words, I am glad you liked this!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 452
Submit Report: