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Review:UnluckyStar57 says:
Oh wow... There's really a lot of stuff in this chapter!!

The flashback was nice... And all of Lily's presents were cute. You did a good job with putting everyone together... There are so many Weasley characters that you had to juggle for this!!!

The biggest thing still remains, and I'll say it every time because I'm anal retentive, I guess... The grammar and punctuation stuff is probably your weakest point right now. Here are a couple of general things for you to look at when you make your edits:

*When you make things plural, they don't get an apostrophe. "Lady" pluralized is "Ladies," not "Lady's." "Lot" pluralized is "Lots."
*Whenever you speak of a present that Lily received, it would be more clear to say things like "the stuffed zebra she got FROM Colonel Mustard," not "the stuffed zebra she got OFF Colonel Mustard." Goofy example, but it just makes a little more sense to say things this way.
*In a few places, you used a comma to continue a sentence where you probably should have used a period and made the following thought into a whole new sentence. Some places were just getting a bit extensive.

But otherwise, it was a pretty good chapter. :)

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: I think it's the longest chapter yet.

So many Weasleys, so little time.

Grammar = so not my strong point. I'm so glad you've pointed these things out otherwise I'll have never of noticed so thank you!!!

Thank you once again!
-Potterfan310
Soph :D


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