Hi there, I had a bit of time, and figured I'd come over and review one of your one-shots! So, well, here I am!
I like how you manage to throw the reader right into the action, yet still explain everything out in the beginning. I never felt like I had no idea what was going on, because you introduced everything so well!
I really like how you characterized Teddy. He's a bit rash, hypocritical, and stubborn at first, and definitely not the "golden boy" people like to portray him as. And then, at the end, you just feel for him.
Your descriptions are great, and the reader really gets the feeling that they're emerged in all of this. I especially love how you explain Teddy's thoughts after Dominique leaves, when he's pondering love and realizing how much he really cared for Dom.
I also think the story plot you chose here was quite interesting, how they're both cheating on their loved ones, and they both care for the other more than they care for their own fiances.
There were a couple spots where I ended up a tad confused, because a random name was dropped, and I had no idea where it came from. For example, he's thinking about talking to Lucy about love, and then all of a sudden, he's thinking, "See James," and it kind of pops out of nowhere.
Also, there are a couple spots where you need some commas, so I'd read over the one-shot and try to make sure that the sentences have punctuation where needed, so they don't go on forever and cause confusion. :)
There are a couple spots were "Victoire" is spelled "Victorie." That's probably just a typing to fast thing, which I can empathize with, as I just spelt "just" as "jsut" about ten times before I got it right. :)
Overall, this was a really great read, so good job with it! Wow, looking back at this, I really ramble, don't I?
Author's Response: Hey! Aww why thank you! I will hit your stories really soon as well :P After exams =)
Yeah I wanted to make Teddy a bit different then the normal golden boy thing he has going on :P
Thank you! I tried to make the story have a setting without getting to involved with the details so I'm glad it worked out in the end =)
I'll look at the spelling mistakes, should have re read it before posting haha.
No no! Thank you so much for your review! It wasn't rambling at all and very helpful =)