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Review:ShadowRose says:
ShadowRose here, with your requested review!

Wow, this is really powerful one-shot - I could tell immediately.

I like that you focused on the minor characters, because that never seems to happen very much, and minor characters are just so much fun to write about, in my opinion.

The repetition of "He was coming" really ties the whole story together, constantly reminding the reader that she's basically waiting for her own death, instead of just casually pondering her life. She's facing death, and it just makes it all that more dramatic.

The entire one-shot is kind of mysterious, and there are a lot of things that aren't explained to the reader. Of course, since this is a short little piece, that's perfectly acceptable, as there's no way you could explain everything in such a short span of time. It also adds this nice little aura of confusion on the reader, which I like.

Your descriptions are beautiful, and quite vivid. I can clearly see everything you describe, from Dorcas's complexion to the abandoned street. I LOVE description, so reading all of this made me quite happy.

You really do tap into her emotions, showing the pain of love lost. Her sense of hopelessness and sadness is quite tangible, and gives the reader a clear insight into what she's thinking.

I would have loved to see you develop each of the characters a little more, but as I said earlier, it's a one-shot, so you are somewhat limited. It might have been nice to focus a little bit on Dorcas's past, on what made her so special that Voldemort had to kill her himself.

Right at the end, I noticed a few little spelling errors. Both "tilted" and "Dorcas" are misspelled in the last paragraph or two. Other than that, I really didn't notice much to CC on.

This was beautifully written, and I really enjoyed reviewing it!

-ShadowRose

Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely review. I'm sorry for the late response! I've been so behind on responses to reviews and I thought today would be the day to try and catch up!

Thanks for this! I'm pleased that you felt I was able to tap into some of the emotions of the character. That was my main aim with this story was to try and express something about a person as they face death. It's also one of my favourite things about ff is that it allows me to explore people's feelings and the psychology behind situations.

I tried to create enough backstory and I think that is the one thing that is lacking with this story is that there isn't enough however it is a short piece and it is hard to put everything into it without there being too much information. Finding the balance is hard for me.

Thank you for your comments and thoughts!


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