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Review:Flavia says:
Ok, so I've heard some great things about this story and I'm finally getting around to reading it, but it might take a little time, but I couldn't resist after looking at your beautiful siggy on the forums all the time!

You write really well, your descriptive writing is just beautiful, it's easy to see the people and places in my mind. I also really liked the way you opened with a description, like a really detailed description because by the time we got to any dialogue/action I was like "What's going on! I have to know!". :)

Sometimes I felt like the language was a little too formal, or stilted...hmmm not sure if either of those words are right for what I'm trying to convey, and it wasn't amjor thing, it's just that sometimes it was a little too well written...ok I'm not making any sense, am I? Sorry about that :(

I also thought that you made a really good choice about where to start the story, and the comment that James and Lily were occasionally friends was good too...It also seems as though you're going to go beyond that 'I hate you now I love you' thing you get in a lot of James/Lily fics, and I am very happy about that.

Overall, I really liked this chapter, and I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the story. I'm not really a marauders fan either, but I think I'll enjoy this :)

Author's Response: Aww thank you so much for stopping by! And that signature is amazing, isn't it? It was made by the same TDA artist that made the Before They Fall banner and all but one chapter image! I love her.

I love sort of panning out before starting a scene, and I'm really happy it worked well for you here ♥

Okay I've gone through and tried to fix what I think you were talking about. I've been needing to give this a sprucing up lately, and you're review pushed me to do so, thank you ♥ I think the problem was that it kind of jumped... not enough to make it feel like it was jumping, but some of the transitions felt too complicated. I hope that's what you were getting too, because I've reworked some things and I think fixed the issues you were talking about that made it seem... stiff. Hopefully! Thank you again for pointing that out!

I can not rant enough about the 'I hate you I love you' stuff. Obviously there will be some arguments in this, but those really stem from Lily just having a hard time dealing with death of her parents. And not 'James you're a __' kind of arguments :P.

Thank you so much for stopping but and leaving such a lovely review ♥ I hope I've fixed the issue you pointed out!

♥ Jami


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