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Review:MissMdsty says:
Hello dear! I'm here with your requested review!

It's always hard writing a teenage pregnancy story with a fresh twist, and in your case I guess the twist is the fact that the young parents are in a committed relationship, which isn't something you see very often.

What I would like to comment on this is that it felt a bit rushed. We didn't get time to know Lily, or Rose, you just jumped into the plot. It's a horrible thing, to be 16 and pregnant and also to be young and lose a baby you want. I just wish I could've connected with the characters so that I could feel the pain they were feeling. Other than that, I'm intrigued to see where you go with this story.

I did spot a couple of spelling errors:

"Uncle Ron's always hated the Malfoy's according to dad and I don't he'll change." - you're missing a "think"

"ok so it's her dad's enemies son" - enemy's son.

Good luck with this and feel free to request again!

Author's Response: Hello :)

Yep, Lily and Jake sure are committed but that's not the only twist ;)

There was a prologue that described all of the Potter/Weasleys but I didn't like it so I deleted that chapter.

Whoops, I'll be sure to add it in and change enemy's when I edit.

Thank you!!!

-Potterfan310
Soph x


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