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Review:Water_Fay says:
I really like your story and it's on my favorites list, but it seems a little too youthful in that it lacks depth. The characters are a little too "Mary Sue, Gary Stu". I want to really get to know their personalities at a deeper level. Learn about Lily's faults. Good idea but try to grow on your characterization skills a little. Something what I like to do is set up a fake interview with my characters where the interviewer is you (the author) and the person being interviewed is them. If they were famous and people wanted to know about them what would you ask them? Make the character honest truthfully so you can start to develop them more as separate entities. Look forward to your next chapter!!!

Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback.
I know that the story is a little dull at the beginning, but I really did try to add some depth in the later chapters. There is more drama and in the next chapter, and the chapter after that is when the story gets really interesting. Thank you for reading, and I hope you keep reviewing so I can know if I've fixed this problem!
Next chapter is waiting for validation right now!


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