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Review:Debra20 says:
Hello Amanda! I've been curious about this story for some time, so taking advantage that there are several chapters posted already, I'll start reading it :)

Yours is the first chapter that will be submitted to my new "reviewing process". I have a tendency to gush a lot and be really excited, offer a lot of praise but not enough constructive criticism, or if I can't think of any CC, at least offer some helpful opinions on the piece, which is kind of sad because writers are always looking to improve. So I am now trying to make my reviews more helpful. Hope it works!

I was very surprised by the setting of the story. Even if the first chapter takes place in a hospital wing (or at least some sort of medical facility), the wide setting is World War 1. I am very excited to find out how Muggles got mingled with wizards during that time and what are the roles Cho and Cedric will play in the grand scheme of things. I think you took a bold choice in writing this AU, but if all goes well it will be even more worth the praise :)

I appreciate that your started off the story with a more internal conflict. Chapter 1 reveals us Cedric's own musings on war and we share his home longing, which I think is a great way of introducing a character, take a peek into his feelings, explore more of his thought process, in a few words, get to know the character better.

I also thought you handled the scenes very well. Even if Cedric barely opens his eyes, your choice of auditory words allowed us to see with out own eyes his surroundings. However, I've always thought you handled the delivery of scenes in a very captivating and vivid way, so there is no surprise there.

I am looking forward to see how all of this develops!

Author's Response: Hey, good for you! I think it's always good to try to put some critique into your reviews, as long as it's founded, but it's a good habit to practice delivering criticism respectfully and clearly. So please, don't hesitate to say what you feel to me!

I'm pleased that you like the setting. My favorite way of writing AU is just to drop canon characters into a new setting and see what happens with each of them. I really enjoyed twisting magical and Muggle medicine in this story, and it was fun to follow Cedric and Cho along on that journey.

The first chapter of this story is still one of my favorites. It's not much in the way of plot, but I think it's important to give people some of Cedric's perspective given that so much of the story is about what happens TO him. Cho gets a lot more head-space time comparatively.

Imagery really dominated this chapter, and I think that's part of what made it so fun to write. Keeping his eyes closed made it so that I had to use senses other than vision for part of the time, which is a suggestion made by a reviewer on another story, so I'm happy that worked out okay. I'll try to practice it more.

Thanks for your great review :)


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